finding her voice

(22) What happened

Chapter 22
What happened

Someone knocked on my door. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. I just felt numb inside. Like a part of me was ripped out. "Lila," my mom said softly. I didn't answer. "Lila, you have to go to the hospital." Silence. Mom tried to reason with me again. "If you don't you're going to regret it." I wouldn't speak. I remained still, laying on my bed. Candy wrappers surrounding me. I haven't showered sense what happened. I've been restless at night. Barely able to sleep. My breath stinks, worse than farts. Worse than a skunk. Maybe even worse than a rotting dead corpse. "At least unlock your door, Lila." Mom pleaded. I want to see him. I do. But I feel like if I do, it will be all too real. Like a horror story come alive to ruin me. Truly ruin me. My mom gave up after what felt like hours of trying to relentlessly negotiate with what she just can't solve. As long as he is in the hospital, I will forever be dead inside. How could he do this to me? My own brother. My own flesh and blood. I will never forgive him for doing this. Never in a million years. As far as I am concerned He is dead to me. What if he killed his best friend, then what?

One month before

"Kevin, don't do this!" I pleaded with my brother. We were currently in our driveway. Well, I was in the driveway while Kevin was in his car getting it started and not listening to what I was begging him to hear.
"Shut up, Lila! I'll see you when I get home." Kevin screamed at me. I went into his car, just as he revved up the engine and drove off. I wasn't going to give up; I was going to keep trying to get through to Kevin. I already sent Carter a bunch of texts and phone calls. He didn't seem to answer. Why I don't know. But that topic seemed incompetent to the situation at hand.
"Kevin, why are you doing this?" I asked him. Looking at Kevin, trying to see any trace of the boy I knew to be my brother. He was gone, instead of lies the monster that replaced my brother. Kevin, never acted this way before, and I don't know what is making him act this way now. But, I don't really care all that much at the moment. All I care about is that he leaves Carter alone.
"Because he gets everything, Lila!" He roared.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused, my eyes piercing through him. Trying to understand where he was coming from. "You're the quarterback of the team. I'm pretty sure you get everything you want." I said. I mean, it only seemed logical. If anyone were to be jealous it should be Carter. Not that he should be, I mean he's awesome. But appealing on the logical side of things, if anyone were to be jealous, it shouldn't be Kevin. The boy who seems to get everything he could ever dream of.
He kept driving, going over the speed limit. He was being ruthless right now. "Stop, you're going to get us both killed!" I screamed, looking at my brother wide-eyed.
But he didn't seem to care. He wasn't even listening to me. "I don't have anything to be jealous of?!" He raised his eyebrows, laughing a humorless laugh. "I don't have anything to be jealous of?!" He repeated in the same tone of voice with the same
humorless laugh. He didn't take his eyes off the road once. It seemed like he wanted to keep himself alive so he could do whatever it was he was going to do to his supposedly best friend. "He gets all the good grades.-"
"You get good grades too!" I reasoned, with him. I turned my whole body towards him. I still don't get why he's doing this. Out of jealousy? He has nothing to be jealous!
"Yes, but I have to work ten times harder than he does. He just gets this shit like that. Like its that easy." He said, with a snap of his fingers, and then abruptly putting both his hands back on the steering wheel.
"Some things-" I started to say, but Kevin just interrupted me, not bother listening to my logic and reasoning here.
"He gets all the girls." He rolled his eyes.
"So do you." I pointed out.
"Yes, but only simply for my popularity. If I don't have that, I have nothing. He gets girls for his good looks, sense of humor and incredible charm." He informed me.
"Oh, Come on! I'm sure they see you for more than your-" Again with the interrupting! How rude! I'm trying to make you feel better here, so you don't (possibly) kill my boyfriend.
"He even got you, Lila! The girl no guy ever could get their hands on!" Where is he going with this? "We could have been so good together. You and I." Does he not realize what he is saying? I'm his sister! I'm off limits. It's called incest and that is gross. But, before I could tell my big brother off. We had finally reached our destination. Carter's house.