finding her voice

(17) I MAY BE THE DEVILS ANGEL BUT HE'S MY SAVING GRACE

I woke up the next morning, the same time Carter awoke. I'm guessing, because he looked groggy and sleepy. Translation: he looked like he just woke up. "Hey." Carter said, lifting himself up from the bed in a sitting position.

"Hey," I replied back. I couldn't get the thought off my mind of how cute he looks when he awakes from bed, or how he helped me get through yesterday. He even let me stay at his house. Why would he do that? I mean, I know that he likes me, but I didn't think that he would be so kind to me. I just thought that he wanted sex from me, but it might be something more.

He always used to pick on me. Wait- wait a second! Is that why he used to pick on me?
Am I sounding like a girl in denial in all those weird love stories? No, why would I? I am way more smarter than all those girls. "Hey Carter, thanks for yesterday." I told Carter in a weak voice.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm just helping out the less fortunate." He teased. I hit his arm with the back of my hand and he laughed. I liked how he didn't feel the need to pity me after what he had saw. It was nice and it made me feel better about the situation I was put in. "Because that's just me. A kind, all around nice guy!" He bragged and I kept hitting him, but this time, harder. With the back and front side of my hand. He managed to grip my wrist. So, I just did this with my other hand and he managed to grip that wrist, too.

The atmosphere suddenly changed from teasing and friendly, to just plain intense. We both looked at each other, neither one could manage to tear away from the intense gaze and when I looked at his eyes, I couldn't help but feel this intense fire in them. They poured out with emotion. I felt like I could see inside his mind in that moment. Without thinking, I leaned in, still in a trance and holding Carter's gaze.

But then, suddenly Carter averted my eyes and moved a little bit away from my body. Then he moved up from the bed. "Um... I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Then with that, he very awkwardly walked out of his room, probably heading towards the bathroom.

What the hell? All that flirting and sticking up for me and this is what I get? He kissed me before! What changed? What's so different about this time? Okay, I did say I wanted to wait and if I wanted to wait didn't that just mean that he was respecting my wishes? Or did it mean something else? Did he think that I wasn't worth all the hassle? This is so confusing! Boys are so confusing! I slammed my palms onto the bed in frustration, taking a deep breath. I'm just over analyzing things. I don't know what he was thinking and I shouldn't try to torture myself, guessing why he left it at that.

Carter is... is,

what's the word? I guess confusing would be the word to describe him. I wouldn't describe him as 'mean'. At least not anymore. Not after what he did for me. He has been so nice to me lately. Like, the complete opposite of the devil and nearing more into the category of...

being a..

hero.

Correction. Being MY hero.

Huh.

Confusing much?

I don't need a hero, but he was there for me when know one else was and he did pay attention to me when know one else did and I guess I needed that. I went into the bathroom that was in his room and did my thing. I still am thankful for what Carter did by letting me stay here the night or I don't know what I would have done.

He does one thing and then does another. He says one thing but then says another. Carter is really starting to bug me. You know what? I don't know what he wants and I don't know what I want.

I just feel so different when I'm with him. Like I'm floating on a clou-

Carters' bedroom door opens suddenly and snaps me out of my thoughts. Carter appeared in the room. He suddenly walked toward me and he did it really fast, like a jaguar hunting it's pray.