Supernatural Imagines

Sam x Reader//Old Lovers

Song of Choice: Old Lovers in Dressing Rooms- Keaton Henson

Imagine: what could have been.
-

He didn't really know what to do. The empty room was staring back at him, colors duller than they used to be. They had been separated for years, but it still felt like you left just yesterday.

A never ending spiral of all the things he had done wrong were filtered through his head, deciding which memory would hurt him most and bringing it up again and again. He knew he had messed up. He knew it was his fault and he wished he could tell you that he understood. Your muffled sobs should have been a wake up call.

He ignored them. Ever since Dean dropped down, he drowned himself in alcohol when he knew all he needed was you. However, he was scared. Scared that you'd die like his brother, that he'd fall so deeply in love with you and you would leave. Well, he fell anyways. And you left.

You wrote a note, covered in the scent of amber, typed out on a typewriter because you had always been so insecure about your writing. The words were deep and full of sorrow. You didn't want to leave, but you couldn't take it anymore.

He put himself through pain and he would not let you help. He pushed you away until you actually left. There was no screaming, no anger, just broken pieces of vases falling to the ground as you left the door unlocked. He was too drunk to notice, and you were too tired to care.

Somehow, the note ended up in his hands again. Shaking, just like the night you left all those years ago. He was crying, choking down sobs that felt like a bowling pin in his throat. He read your words and felt the same pain he felt when you left. You were doing it for yourself, he knew that. He didn't treat you like a queen when you deserved to be treated like one.

He ignored you, pushed his anger and guilt onto you that you did not deserve. It was not your fault that Dean sacrificed himself for his little brother, again. It was not your fault that they kept doing this to themselves. In the note, you were clear on that.

Sam let himself sit down on the floor, leaning his head back against your mattress, smelling strongly of dust and faintly of you. He didn't know where you were, now. He used to keep tabs, but then it was a year, and two years, and he lost contact. You disappeared, deleted your social media, and you were just gone.

He was pretty sure you were married now and working as a nurse for a boundless doctor. That was always your dream, but he dragged it down. You were lucky to get out of there, to be free from all the heartache he put you through. You deserved to be happy and Sam knew he could not give that to you.

Too many things kept coming up and he'd be gone and you'd be alone again and again and again. Sacrificing your happiness just to be with a man who ended up hurting you in the end. You loved him. You really did. But you were pretty sure he didn't love you back.

But he did, he just wasn't good at showing it after all of those years, putting up walls and not letting anybody break them down. His fear always stopped him.

Hell, he was so afraid of his dad hating him for going off to college, that he nearly didn't. But he did. He let that fear go for a moment. If only he could've let it go for you.

"Sam, you ready?" A voice called down the hall, a face popping into view of the barren room. Sam nodded and stood, setting the letter carefully on the bed before leaving the room, his brother patting him on the back with sympathy. He sniffled and wiped away his tears.

"I miss them, Dean." He nodded.

"I know."
-

I haven't written angst in so long. Also, I'm on spring break!! So more updates for you guys!!!!

Aaaandddd I'm going ghost hunting tonight with a few gals. I think we're going to a chapel in a graveyard, but I'm not sure yet. We wanted to go to this really haunted park, but there's a lot of gang violence there and deemed it wouldn't be safe. It'll be fun, anyways, though! I'm bringing my camera, so we can have a little impromptu photo shoot and maybe catch a few orbs.

What are you guys planning on doing this weekend?

- noelle
     xo