IF YOU'RE LUCKY (COMPLETE)

10. Alpha

BENJI POV

"Who was that guy at rehearsal?", I ask. I'm trying my best to sound nonchalant, but even I can tell that I'm failing. We'd dropped Chinese food all over the place while we were busy, so I decided to clean up while V stacks my papers back on my desk.

"You mean Jacob?" I could see the corners of her mouth curve up signifying to me that she found my question amusing.

Women fawned over me and not once have I ever felt vulnerable with them. They'd cling to me, blow up my phone, try to visit me when I didn't call back. But not her, not Victoria. If anyone checked my phone right now, they'd probably think I was a stalker. I was the one constantly calling her, texting her. I was the one waiting by the door like a puppy waiting for their owner to come home.

I had never been an insecure person, ever. But, V drove me insane without even trying. I knew she was beautiful and I knew her worth, I was just scared someone else would know too. The feeling was all new to me and I didn't really know how to act.

Do I push the issue? Is it even an issue? Do I let it go? 

Thinking I should let this go, another feeling that I haven't felt in a long time resurfaced within me. I had become so used to people playing their part, playing games, and false friendships that all the associated feelings of anger, disappointment, and heartache shot through my soul with a vengeance. I'd poured my heart out out to her, she knew where she stood with me. But, Victoria had yet to tell me her true feelings and that only fed my insecurity.

"Sure, whatever his name is. What was he doing with his arms around your waist?", I state coldly. I can notice my own demeanor change and I can tell that she sees too by the way her body stiffens at my voice.

She straightens her stance, her palms resting on the desk. "What are you talking about? He's my partner for my fire breathing routine. What's gotten into you?"

"Since when do you have a partner? Is he even really your partner or is that what you just want me to think?" I'm not even thinking my words through, they just vomit out of my mouth. My teeth start grinding together as I clench my jaw, the take out container in my hand crunches up in my fist.

"What kind of question is that? Where is all this coming from?", her voice getting louder, hinted with frustration. She walks over to me and grabs the styrofoam out of my hand, tossing it into the trash on her way back to the desk. She walks around and perching herself on the corner of my desk, crossing her arms as her eyes lock with mine.

On the defense, I take a couple steps toward her as if I were an animal trying to prove who's alpha. "I don't want you seeing him anymore, he can't perform with you--"

She uncrosses her arms, pushing herself off the desk. "Benji, you can't just—"

I knew in the back of my mind that I had no right to ask that of her. But the painful pang in my heart full of insecurities and the need to be in control coaxed me to keep going.

I raise my palm at her. "I'll talk to the director, she'll have no choice but to put you solo again. That's final". I lower my hand signaling to her that I didn't want to talk about it anymore, but I should've known it wouldn't be that easy.

Victoria's look of frustration turns to a look I've never seen before. She's hostile now. "Excuse me? I don't know what's gotten into you, Benji. But whatever it is, you need to stop it. Now".

My eye twitches at her words and my breathing becomes heavy. "We may be dating, but that doesn't give you the right to control me or control who I work and hang out with", she finishes. She walks up to me now, our bodies barely touching. If her eyes could shoot daggers, I'd be dead twice and unrecognizable.