After the War

Captain Can't Dance

Clint

It was weeks after Loki's sudden appearance when finally something interesting happened again. This "something interesting" being the fourth of July. Granted we might have been in Wakanda, so we couldn't really celebrate Independence day, but it was still Steve's birthday. And a special one for sure. Of course we made a lot of arrangements beforehand, we even tried to get rid of all the cats in the Avengers common room. I mean, they were everywhere. Once when Natasha went out for a late night snack she got attacked by one that was hiding itself in the fridge... Well... it only jumped on her, but that's not the point, it was in the fridge. To this day I still don't know how it got there.

Anyway, the preparations, it was the second of July and we were checking if we had everything. A bigass cake, one hundred candles to go on the cake. Star spangled plastic party flags, a huge stuffed eagle. A music playlist that started with The Star-Spangled Banner. This playlist was made by Natasha and this particular version of The Star-Spangled Banner was sung by Lady Gaga, don't ask me why. Furthermore there was this song called: Star-Spangled Man with a plan on it. This to the amusement of Tony. "God that song is old," he said. "My father told me about it once. It was a song that Steve's choir girls used to perform during his shows. He even showed me some footage of that... Steve wore tights." "Steve in tights?" Natasha asked him with a smile playing around her lips. "Yup. The mighty Captain America started his career wearing tights." We all had a good chuckle over that. "We got everything?" I asked. "Yeah, I suppose," Bruce answered. "Good." "No, wait, we don't have milk and cookies," Thor replied. "We'll bake those cookies on the morning of the big day, they're best when they're fresh," Natasha told him. "And we got milk in the fridge," I said. "Like... loads of milk." "I have another idea," Tony said. "Bring it up genius," I said. "Well, look at this," he said as he pushed on a button on his watch. "I updated this thing and I can access the internet with it. I found some footage of Steve's career as chorus girl." He showed us the footage. "And your point is?" I asked. "Well, Mr. Barton, I'd like you to wear one of those costumes the girls are wearing," he replied half sarcastically half teasing. "Nah, don't think I got the legs for it." "I think your legs look great," Nat assured me. "Yours look better." "And that's where I was actually going," Tony said. "You want me to wear one of those costumes?" "Just imagine Steve's reaction. And... well... maybe some of the other women would like to join in too." "That depends on it," Shuri said. Where did she suddenly come from? "Would it annoy him?" "Hmmm, mildly," Tony said. "Then I might consider it, if Nat does it of course." Natasha rolled her eyes, "Fine, but I'm dragging Pepper into this too." "What," was all Pepper could say before Tony said, "Wonderful." And that's how at the end of the day we were doing our best to recreate those costumes. This is also how we found out that Thor is surprisingly good at sowing.

We made six costumes in total, one for Natasha, one for Pepper and one for Shuri who eventually agreed on joining in, just to annoy Steve. The other three were for Sif, who thought it would be fun, Brunnhilde, who might have been drunk when she agreed to join the others and for Darcy, who seemed to be pretty excited about it all. The costumes were finished at around ten p.m. and the girls had to try them on immediately. Of course there was a lot of clapping and whistling, even from Harley, the seventeen year old kid. Nat took it all as a complement and made a little show of it. Sif seemed to like it a lot too. Darcy was just having fun, Shuri bowed when we clapped, Brunnhilde gave us a courtesy and Pepper looked annoyed and a little uncomfortable. "He's either going to love this, or be annoyed," Tony said during the "show". "What about I'll try to make him blush like maid, this skirt is short enough to be suggestive," Natasha brought up. "Have fun trying to make Captain Virgin blush Nat, I'd like to see you try," Tony told her. "I'm sure all guys here would like to see her try," I brought up. "Shut up Clint, you're just jealous that I'm hotter than you." "Well excuse me? I happen to be fabulous, do you hear me? Fabulous, Natasha!" She smiled at that, "Sorry, I forgot about that." "How can you? You've even seen me naked!" "That's enough, Clint." "It's Hawkeye the Fabulous for you!" She sighed, "That's enough, Hawkeye the Fabulous." "That's more like it." "Moron," she mumbled. "I know you love me!" I heard Tony sigh next to me, "You two are the weirdest friend duo I ever met." We both replied with, "Thanks."