Best Friends Forever

14

I couldn't get what Addy said out of my head for the rest of the night. I'd always known she was on some level insecure, though she rarely showed it, but I had never known the extent. I also hadn't known my direct involvement in it. I knew Addy always compared our looks, but to think she thought everyone wanted me over her was insane.

What Addy didn't know was that people wanted me on nothing deeper than a completely surface level attraction. That was it. It had nothing to do with who I was, my personality, my sense of humor, my hopes and dreams. I had been completely reduced to my sexuality around men to the point where all I was was the pretty girl and not a thing more. I was pretty sure that was all I would ever be. At least with Addy, guys genuinely liked her as a person. She was funny, able to be herself from the very beginning, whereas it took me months to warm up to new people. Though she glorified the type of attention I got, I wish I could explain how it was not at all flattering, and instead degrading and completely dehumanizing.

Jason called me for the second time that night. I had just finished my nightly skincare routine when I heard a muffled vibration from my nightstand. Going to check it out, I was surprised to find Jason's name on the screen considering he hadn't come to Lucas and Addy's today and hadn't replied to my text asking him to come.

Sliding my finger over the screen to answer the call, I was greeted by a very enthusiastic, "Leils!" that immediately made me smile.

"Jason!" I exclaimed with the same amount of energy. In a second, he had taken me from sleepy and ready for bed to happy and excited.

"Ew, why did you call me?" he joked.

"Oh my god, shut up. You called me."

"You really think I'd want to talk to someone like you? Gross."

"You're such an idiot," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're actually so obsessed with me, it's getting kind of creepy to be honest. I feel uncomfortable."

"Fine," I joked. "I'll leave you alone then. Bye!"

"No!" he said. "Wait, I take it back. Don't go!"

I laughed at his theatrics. "You're actually the most annoying person I've ever met."

"You love it," he said.

"I do," I admitted. I really did love it.

"So how was dinner tonight?" Jason asked. "I'm bummed I missed it."

"It was okay," I said, thinking about what had happened with Addy. "I told Addy what happened with Brad and she said some worrying stuff."

"Oh no. What happened?"

"After I told her he hit on me, she said she expected it because everyone wants me over her. And she cried, which is so unlike Addy, and now I just feel terrible about it."

"Aw, fuck," he said. "I knew Brad was an asshole. That's why Lucas and I warned her about him."

"He really is an asshole. And yet she still insists on hooking up with him. I don't get it."

He sighed. "I'll talk to Addy tomorrow. She listens to me."

"I hope so," I said.

"I can't believe he tried to get with you," Jason said. "Not only was he talking to Addy, I think it's an unspoken rule between the soccer team that you are completely off limits."

"What? Why?"

"They know Lucas likes you, it's bro code."

"Lucas asked them to stay away from me?"