Best Friends Forever

17

I came home to find that the house was not completely empty. Instead, two low voices could be heard from the family room. I was surprised to see my dad home so early, and the serious tone of their conversation was unusual in my household.

Unable to stop myself though I knew it was wrong, I stood by the doorway, out of sight, but close enough to hear most of what was being said.

My parents were sitting on the couch, turned to face each other. My dad had my mom's hands in his, his brows pulled down in a frown. My mom sat there with a look of pure discomfort, a deer in headlights to whatever they were talking about.

"Tobias, I'm fine," my mom said. "Seriously."

My dad shook his head. "I don't think I believe that."

"I have nothing to not be fine over," she said. "I don't get why you're so worried."

"Because of the other day-"

"That was nothing. I'm serious, I just wasn't expecting that, especially not around Leila."

"Well, Leila's worried about you, too."

My heart quickened at the sound of my name. Fear of getting caught and guilt for overhearing what was clearly a conversation I was not meant to be a part of made me question whether or not I should keep listening in. In the end, curiosity won over my sense of right and wrong.

"I know she's worried," my mom said. "She came and talked to me the other day."

"Did you tell her anything?"

"No, Toby, I can't. I don't want her to know about that part of my life. She's too... she's too innocent for that. She doesn't know the cruelty of the world yet. I can't be the person to ruin that."

My dad sighed. "I get that. I think it's better this way, too."

He wrapped his arms around my mom and she melted into him, holding him so closely to her that I felt she would never let go.

My mom had always loved my dad in a way that inspired me. In my entire life, I had never seen someone be so dedicated to another person the way she was. Her face never failed to light up in his presence and her smile never faltered. Even in moments like these where they were far from happy, she held him in a way that anchored her.

My mom had always reminded me of a balloon, colorful and fun and happy and floating through life in whatever way she pleased. My dad was the hand that held her and kept her here on Earth. Together they worked perfectly, two halves of a whole.

Looking at her now, I couldn't imagine where my mom would be if she didn't have my dad there, grounding her.

"I'm sorry," I heard her whisper, her tone covered in guilt. "I'm sorry I still get sad over it some times."

"Shhh, don't apologize, Tal," he said. "You don't have to."

"I know. But I genuinely am sorry. Twenty years later and I still think about it."

"There's nothing wrong with that. But you know I'm here for you always, right?"

"I know, baby," she said, and I could almost hear the smile in her voice. "I love you."

They started kissing and I looked away because no one wanted to see their parents kiss. Quietly, I walked back towards the front door and outside into the front yard. The fresh air was cold, slicing through my nose with every breath. It helped clear my head to analyze what I'd just overheard.

Clearly something had happened twenty years ago, something that had affected my mom even until now. I had absolutely no clues as to what it could be, but my curiosity was only growing and growing.

I was annoyed that both my parents thought it was better to leave me completely in the dark than to tell me. I was too 'innocent', as my mom said. That was not the first time I'd heard that, whether from my parents or my friends or my peers. The thing was, the word everyone wanted to use was 'naive', but innocent just sounded better.

Maybe if people told me things, I wouldn't be this naive. Instead, my life was full of people protecting me from reality. Whether it was Lucas, helping me through every step of life, doing his absolute best that nothing in his control could ever go wrong for me. Or it was my parents, who had given me everything in the world and more, who had painted the world as an image of sunshine and rainbows, even though it clearly wasn't.

The problem was, my world really was all sunshine and rainbows. I was lucky enough that it was, but the older I grew, the more I realized how sheltered I was. I lived in this bubble of happiness and perfection, but the more I looked at it, the clearer it became that my bubble wasn't sustainable. There were already cracks and rips at the seams, and if I wasn't careful, the whole thing would disintegrate before my eyes.

Taking one last deep breath to control my annoyance at being left in the dark and my worries about my mom, I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick text.

Leila: Hey mom! Is it okay if I sleep over at Addy's today? We have a group project we need to work on.

Mom: Aw sure! Have fun and say hi to Jasmine for me!

Mom: 😘😘❤️😊🤗👌😎🤪🔥😘

Rolling my eyes and smiling at my mother's excessive emoji use, I got back into my car, which I was finally able to use after getting my learner's liscense. I didn't really want to be home right now. The knowledge that there were secrets being kept from me was annoying me beyond belief, and I just needed to go somewhere to be able to think clearly about it.

The plan really was to go to Addy's house. Her and Lucas always gave pretty good advice, and I knew Lucas would be okay with my ranting on and on about my problems. He also made the best grilled cheese sandwiches on earth, and grilled cheese and ranting sounded pretty good right about now.

As I drove over, I found myself going the wrong way. I'd missed the turn to Addy and Lucas's house, and instead was heading in a completely different direction.

I kept driving until I reached my subconscious destination. When I arrived, my mouth pulled into a smile all on its own. Excitedly, I got out of the car and sprinted up the long driveway to the front door. I was going to just let myself in, but the door was locked. So I knocked and waited.

The moment the door opened, his eyes lit up in surprise. "Leils!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, J!" I said. "Can I sleep over?"