Best Friends Forever

29

The irony wasn't lost on me that Jason had just been complaining about not being to feel anything, yet he was making me feel more than I'd ever felt before in my entire life.

The feeling of his lips on mine, the sheer hunger in his kiss, the slight taste of sake leftover from his drinking, his hands all over my body, my hands tangled in his hair - all of it came together to send sensations I didn't know I could feel to unmentionable places. To say I was turned on was the understatement of the year. I had kissed a few guys in my life, brief, impassionate makeouts that meant nothing and felt like nothing. This was a whole other experience.

When we finally pulled away from each other, we were both breathing heavily. We looked at each other almost in shock over what just happened, and then I saw the hints of guilt in Jason's face.

I knew what was coming next, and I didn't want to hear it. He was just about to say the one name that could ruin this moment for me, and though he was right to remind us of it, my hormones had another plan.

"Lu-" he started before I interrupted him with my lips again. He was hesitant for a moment, then started kissing me with the same vigour as before. I had barely drank any sake, but I felt intoxicated by his mouth, his kiss, his presence.

"Come home with me," he said in between kisses. I paused. Is that what he thought was going to happen?

I put my hand against his chest and pushed him away. It started to dawn on me that this could be all this was to him - physical. That was when I started to come down from my high.

He seemed to catch on to my reaction, and quickly backtracked. "Not like that. It doesn't have to be like that," he said.

"But you want it to be like that?" I asked.

"Leils, I'm not going to lie to you. You're hot as fuck and I'm insanely attracted to you. Of course I want it to be like that. But that doesn't mean I won't respect what you want."

"Is that what it is, then?" I said, moving away further. "You being attracted to me?"

Jason let out an exasperated breath. "Yeah, I've been best friends platonically with you for years just because I think you're hot," he joked, his words slightly slurring together. "You know that's not it, Leils."

He took my hand in one of his and brushed some hair away from my face with the other. "I've wanted this for so long," he said softly. He leaned in again, slower than before. He kissed me gently this time, slow and passionate and somehow I liked this kiss even better than its predecessor.

When he pulled away he kissed my forehead gently, then rested his head atop mine for a few moments. "Oh Leils," he said. "I could sit like this with you forever."

I wanted to say the same, but I was suddenly very overwhelmed by what had just happened between us. I needed a breather to think about it and how I felt about it, and I couldn't do that with Jason's arms around me. I pulled out my phone and stealthily ordered a cab off the app.

"I have to go home," I said. "I think you should get some rest and sober up."

"Okay," Jason said quietly.

He seemed hurt by my abrupt attempt to exit, so as I pulled him up off the bench I added, "This was... nice" I said, then cringed at how cold it came out.

Jason rolled his eyes at me and put his arms around my waist again as we stood face-to-face, pulling me closer to him. "Stop trying to act like you're not dying of happiness right now. It's probably the first time any guy has looked your way, you ugly little loser."

I laughed and he caught my chin in one hand. He quickly pecked me on the lips before I could move out of his grasp and I pretended to be disgusted by it. "Ewww, I think you just gave me cooties."