Lines Between Love and Hate

Let's Pretend

A really long chapter here. And just as sad as the others so you should be used to it by now.
(Warning: selfharm)

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Flashback

 

Harry had never felt more miserable. Louis didn’t come home the next couple of days and he didn’t pick up his phone when Harry tried to call. He had talked to the other guys, who said that they had been in contact with the older band mate. Apparently he was staying at his parents. The other guys were very confused about what had happened, but Harry didn’t know what to tell them.

Three days later Louis returned home, but he was different. He ignored Harry and only looked at him when he had to. Harry tried to talk to him, but he never got the chance. “Have you burned his favorite beanie or something?” Niall asked after Louis had walked right passed Harry, without even looking at him for then to bang the door shut to his bedroom.

Harry didn’t know what to answer.

A week later Harry sat with Liam, Niall and Zayn at Liam place. They were looking at outfits to a music video they would be filming some time soon. “You need to do something” Liam said scrolling through the outfits on his phone.

Harry sighed. “Like what? I don’t know what the problem is” he mumbled.

“Look at this one” Zayn said and handed Liam his phone.

“Come on Harry. We all know that you fucking like him” he continued and turned to the youngest.

“He´s right. You cant just do nothing” Niall agreed.

Harry blushed and looked down, but he didn’t have to answer because suddenly the door answered and Louis pocked his head in. “Hey! I have someone you should meet”.

He opened the door wider and revealed a beautiful girl with long brown hair. “This is Eleanor” Louis told with a smile.

Harry could feel the other guys eyes on him. He suddenly felt so cold. So wrong. Nothing felt right. This had to be a nightmare right? It couldn’t be real. “Hey” Eleanor carefully said when no one in the apartment said anything.

“Yeah, hey!” Niall quickly said and got up to shake her hand.

The others guys quickly followed. Harry stumbled to his feet. Following the others like a dog following its leader. Louis had his arm around her waist. Her waist. Harry couldn’t get his head around it. “Great to meet you guys” she said and flashed her perfect white teeth.

“You too. How did you meet?” Liam asked.

Harry never heard the answer. He had been starring at Louis who suddenly turned his head so their eyes met. When the blue eyes met his Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He walked pass them and ran down the hallway to his own apartment. He closed the door to his bedroom and fell down on his bed, with tears down his face. His chest hurt so much. He didn’t know how to deal with it. He took a firm grip in both his arms and pressed his nails into his skin as hard as he could while he cried, trying to hold himself together. The stinging pain his nails send through his skin made it easier to breath. With shaky movements Harry pulled his sleeve up and tried to scratch his skin op on his wrist with his nails. It helped. He began breathing slower. He sobs had quiet down. He released his wrist and silently inspected the new red nail marks. If you really squinted you could still see the faint scars from when he was younger. He couldn’t remember how it felt when you sliced your skin with the sharp metal. But he had the feeling he was going to be reminded.