Lines Between Love and Hate

Painful Secrets

So, little warning, this is quite an emotional chapter... but if you have read the rest of this story, you should used to it by now. So, enjoy.

Warning: self harm

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The soft knock on the door made Harry look up from his position on his bed. He was laying, sprawled out, legs and arms in every direction. Louis poked his head inside and smiled and the sight. "It's lucky it's such a big bed".

Harry offered a slight smile before letting his head fall back down into the mattress. The new cuts on his wrist were burning slightly. Louis sat down on the bed looking at the beautiful boy beside him. He was worried about him. Harry had seemed off ever since the breakfast with the boys. "I have washed the kitchen floor" he mumbled.

"Didn't know that you were able to do that." Harry mumbled.

Louis chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I'm full of surprises".

"Are you alright?" he asked silently.

Harry nodded and closed his eyes. Louis sighed.

"I need a smoke" he mumbled and went over to open the window.

"It's a terrible habit" Harry mumbled with a slight smile.

Louis chuckled and lit the cigarette. "You know what's also a bad habit?"

"Wha?"

"Snoring" Louis said with a smirk.

"Oi!" Harry exclaimed lifting himself up on his elbows.

"That's not a habit and you also said that it wasn't that bad!"

Louis shrugged and smiled. Harry laughed and lay his head back down on the mattress. Even though he would never admit it, he enjoyed the faint smell of smoke. He had missed it. "Why do people smoke?" Harry asked silently, just to hear the other male talk.

Louis glanced over at the younger boy. Enjoying how he looked, sprawled out on the bed, hair unruly and eyes closed. "Dunno about people. It makes me feel relaxed." Louis mumbled.

"That's how you make me feel," Harry said so silently that Louis wasn't sure that it was meant for him to hear.

Louis shook his head laughing, even though the words made his heart swell. "Now you make me look bad".

"I know" Harry said proudly.

Louis chuckled and took another drag of the cigarette. "You make me feel happy, though".

But Harry didn't smile, instead his lips began trembling. Louis looked at him, scared. What had he said?

"I heard what you said earlier," Harry suddenly said and sat up, his eyes glassy.

Louis looked confused at him. What had he said earlier? Was it that he had told the other guys about what had happened the night before? "You said that you only did it for the band. You said I was a mess," Harry whispered, his voice shaky.

He hated sounding like this. He was proving in this moment exactly how much of a mess he was. Louis opened and closed his mouth like a fish a couple of seconds before his brain could wrap around what had been said. He threw the cigarette and quickly went over to sit on the bed. He cupped the younger boys face in his hands.

"Listen Harry! I wasn't talking about that. I told them why I had thought it was a good idea to be with Eleanor. Harry, you are a mess, but I am too and we're going to figure this out together".

He slowly moved a strain of the curly hair away from the beautiful face. He waited for the boy's reaction, and let out a relived sigh when he smiled. "This feels like a sappy teen show now," Harry drawled.