Lines Between Love and Hate

Pancakes and Tea

Welcome back!

Trigger warning: Self harm

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About thirty seconds after Harry had texted the others guys, Niall stood in their living room. Liam also came two minutes later, closely followed by Zayn. "So you guys, like, made breakfast together?" Liam asked slowly.

Niall was already eating his second pancake in the sofa meanwhile Zayn was pouring syrup on his first. Harry sat curled up on himself on the floor. "We sure did" Louis said and went over to sit on the couch and pulled Harry over so he sat between his legs.

Harry smiled and leaned his head on his knee. Louis handed him a pancake and looked up to meet all the other guys' big eyed faces. Niall had even stopped chewing. "That's nice" Liam said narrowing his eyes at the two.

Harry blushed at the intense stares and looked down at his hands. Louis sent the guys a glare and it seemed like they got the hint. They all looked away. "What a beautiful day" Niall said loudly and looked out the window.

"Indeed indeed" Zayn agreed.

"There's a hair on my pancake" Niall suddenly complained.

Louis looked over at his plate. "Well, that could have been one of them Harry dropped on the floor".

Harry slapped him on the arm with an offended chuckle. "Oi, who was it who tried to turn them in the air?"

Louis covered the curly haired's eyes with his hands. "Now you lost your sight" he told.

"That doesn't change the fact that you got to clean the kitchen floor at some point" Harry said laughing.

The three others looked at the two with open mouths and narrowed eyes. "I think my time machine has worked" Zayn whispered.

Niall burst out laughing which caught Harry and Louis' attention.

"What's so funny?" Louis asked moving his hands from the other boys face.

"It's just nice" Liam said, coughing awkwardly.

"You know, seeing you two together" Niall finished and put the last bite of pancake in his mouth.

"I think I'm gonna go, you know, clean something" Harry quickly mumbled and stood up.

He went to the kitchen in such a rush that none of the boys got to say anything. Louis sighed and slid down in the couch. "What's happening here?" Zayn asked confused.

Louis looked over at the door to the kitchen before leaning in. "He hasn't been so good since all that with Eleanor and stuff" he mumbled.

"That makes two of us," Niall mumbled while eating the pancake Harry had left behind.

"Seeing you pretend to care about her almost made me lose my appetite".

"You knew?" Louis asked surprised.

Liam chuckled. "It wasn't a difficult leap. But what was the reason for it?"

Louis blushed. "To protect us, the band. There is no reason to be mean about it."

Zayn shrugged. "You kinda broke our Harry," he said and looked towards the kitchen.

"I'm trying to fix it" Louis quickly said.

"But are you guys like together now?" Niall asked curiously.

Louis coughed and moved uncomfortable in his seat. "Well, I mean, we haven't talked about it. I mean, he's quite messed up. I probably shouldn't tell you this. Promise me you won't treat him differently."

The other guys nodded nervously. Louis took a deep breath. "He tried to take his own life yesterday," he whispered.

Niall choked on his pancake and both Zayn and Liam froze gasping at him. "Bloody hell!" Zayn mumbled.

"That's serious! We should tell somebody. What have you done to him?" Liam cried, standing up.

Louis also stood up and took a firm grip in the man's arm. "Please Liam, just let me handle it."

"Because last time you handled something it went so well." Liam whispered angrily.

"Let him. I think he knows what's best for Harry." Niall said, still gasping slightly for air after his near death experience.

Liam sighed and sat back down. "Fine, but if anymore happens, you tell us!"

Louis nodded relieved.

Harry had a firm grip on the counter. His knuckles were white and his eyes were closed. He felt so bad. The other guys surprised looks on him and Louis. They had thought it weird. They knew Louis didn't like him that way. They had been confused of why Louis suddenly pretended to care about him again.

A tear slid down his cheek. He knew though. Louis only acted like this with him again because of what had happened last night. If Harry hadn't tried to kill himself everything would had been as it had been the last couple of months. Harry's heart felt so heavy. He didn't know what to do. His eyes landed on the drawer. He knew the knife was in there. It would be so easy. Just take it and slide it over the soft skin on his throat.

"To protect us, the band. There is no reason to be mean about it" Louis's voice sounded from the living room.

Harry froze. They were talking about him. Had he told them about the attempt? Was that why he didn't want him to die? To protect the band? Harry's hands were shaking. He slowly moved closer to the door.

"But are you guys like together now?" Niall asked.

Harry slid down on the floor, tugging his knees up to his chin. He anxiously awaited the answer. He heard Louis cough uncomfortably. "Well, I mean, we haven't talked about. I mean, he's quite messed up. I probably shouldn't tell you this."

Harry quickly covered his ears. He didn't want to hear anymore. He wasn't sure he could take it. The itching in his skin was all he could focus on. It was the only thing numbing the burning pain in his heart.

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