Chapter 17

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Castiel's POV

I was laying face down on my bed when my phone went off. I groaned and sniffed. I grabbed my phone and wiped my eyes. I answered it, "hello?" I heard Mary's nervous voice on the other end, "Castiel.. It's Dean." I can tell she's been crying. "Mary, what's wrong? What happened?"

"He got drunk and went driving. A semi truck ran into him. They thought he died but got him back just in time. He doesn't look good, Castiel.", I started crying silently, "You should come see him." I nodded. "This is all my fault.. I'm so sorry, Mary.. I'll be there when I can.." I sniffed and wiped my eyes again. "Castiel, it's not your fault. Just come see him when you can. They haven't said if he's going to be okay or not yet.. He's in room 326 if you come. Be careful cas." She hung up the phone. This is all my fault. All my fault. If I wouldn't have broken up with him just because of my stupid ass mother, he'd be okay. I'd be in his arms and he'd be in mine. Not the hospital. This wasn't supposed to happen. I brought my knees to my chest and started crying again. My love is dying because of me. I'm so stupid, so stupid. I got up after a while and got ready. I waited until midnight to leave so my family wouldn't catch me. I grabbed my keys and quietly walked out to my car. Please don't let me be too late.

When I got to the hospital I tried going through the doors to see Dean but a nurse stopped me. "Sir, visiting hours are closed. Come back tomorrow." I looked at her, "You don't understand.. I have to see him. I have to." She came around the desk, "Sir, I'm sorry but you have to leave." I shook my head, "No, I'm going to see Dean." I pushed past the lady and she yelled out for security. Two men grabbed me by my arms and took me outside. "You can't go back there. Come back tomorrow." The taller one said, then they both went back inside. I leaned against the wall and looked inside from the glass windows. There was a janitor's cart with a hat on it. I went in and put the hat on and took my jacket off. I put my jacket under the cart and walked to the double doors. Nobody said anything as I passed through them. Once I passed the corner and entered a hallway that nobody was in I took the hat off and put my jacket back on. I walked up and down a bunch of hallways looking for Dean's room. I got to the 300s hall and started walking faster. "323, 324, 325.. 326." I took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. I stepped in and closed the door quietly. I turned around and saw him. "Oh baby.." I groaned out, and not in the sexy way. I walked over and pulled a chair up next to his bed. I stared at him. He had cuts all over his face. He had his head wrapped up in gauze, blood stains on it. I put my hand over his and let a tear fall down my face, followed by a few more. My voice was scratchy and cracked as I whispered, "Dean.. Baby.. I'm so sorry... This - this is all my fault. I shouldn't have let her come between us.." I laid my head on the arm rest of his bed and cried, trying not to wake him up. Eventually I said, "I love you." I raised my head as I heard a raspy voice say to me, "I love you too." I smiled at Dean and wiped my eyes. He moved his hand and intertwined our fingers. "How - how much did you hear me say?" He smiled, "just the 'I love you.'" I nodded, "Dean this is all my fault.. I'm so sorry.." His voice was weak, "No. Cas, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have been stupid enough to be drinking and driving. I just didn't care.. I haven't cared about anything since you.. since you left me." I nodded, tears falling silently down my face. "I love you, Dean. I don't like being without you." I said. He coughed to try and clear his voice, "Then don't be.. Who cares about your mom or brothers.. Just don't leave me, Cas. I need you. I'm reckless without you.. I'm nothing without you." I sniffed and nodded, "Nothing, huh? Nothing lasts forever, Dean. I can't take being away from you, Dean. They can't find out again. Or the consequences will be direr." He smiled, "Is that a yes?" I nodded, "Let's be nothing together." "C'mere." He said as he scooted over. He winced when he moved his leg. "What is it, Dean?" I asked. He moved the blanket off of his legs to reveal his left leg in a cast. "Dean.." I said sympathetically. "I'm okay.." He held his arms out and I laid down carefully next to him. I pulled the blankets back over us both. "Are you going to be okay?" I asked. "Yeah, of course."

"No, Dean. I mean, what are the doctors saying?" I tilted my head slightly.

"Oh. They said if my head doesn't heal soon, I could go into coma or die. Maybe both.. It's still bleeding. They have to wait for the surgeon to come in tomorrow and see what he can do." He took a deep breath. I bit my lip, holding back more emotion, and nodded.

He tried moving closer to me, but couldn't move too much. So I moved closer to him. He's so weak right now. What if he actually does die because of blood loss? I can't deal with that. I looked up at him. I brought my hand up and moved my thumb lightly over one of his cuts. "Kiss me." He whispered. He smiled weakly and leaned up and kissed him.

At last. I've missed his touch. Even if it's weaker right now, I love it.

When I pulled back I laid my head down on his shoulder softly. Our fingers intertwined still. "I can't stay all night, Dean. I snuck out tonight. We're gonna have to do a lot of sneaking if this is going to work out again." He nodded, "It'll work. I'll make sure of it." I smiled, "and I won't let her get between us again." We laid there together in silence for a while. Both of us fell asleep. I woke up around 3:30 am. "Fuck." I wiggled out of Dean's embrace and kisses him on the forehead, over his bandages, then lightly on the lips. I whispered in his ear, "I love you." I took his phone and typed in his notes, "I love you, Dean. It's 3:30am so I have to go. I didn't want to wake you. I'll be back later, I promise.". I sat his phone next to him and smiled at him. I walked out of the room and hurried back home.

I opened the door quietly and tip-toed upstairs to my room. I shut the door and laid on my bed, smiling. I got Dean Winchester back.

Now I have to work on not losing him again.

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