I Choose You.

Chapter 22

I'm so sorry that it's taken so long! My grandma passed away and now school is crashing down on me. But here's the next update! Comment or message me whatever you'd like to see next!

Dean's POV
"Dean... I love you."
The phone line went dead before I could say anything. Am I really losing him again? I don't know if I can take this. I looked down and the glimmer of the ring Cas gave me caught my eye. I sniffed back tears. Winchesters don't cry. "It's okay to cry, Dean." I heard my mom say. I turned around and saw her standing in the doorway. She walked towards me and held her arms out. I hugged her tight and she whispered in my ear, "It's gonna hurt, baby, but it's gonna be alright in the end." I nodded, not crying. I don't want to cry. "Can I be alone for a bit?" I asked her. She nodded, kissed my cheek then left, closing the door behind her. I turned all my lights off and sat on my bed. For about an hour I was mumbling things like, "Cas.. Please." and "why? Why now?". Then I sat there in silence. I didn't move. I didn't feel. I wanted to cry now. But thing is I can't. I can't even cry because every emotion I feel is so dull. I'm basically dead weight right now. I feel like I'm dead. I almost did die last time this happened. What am I gonna do now? Drink some more? Ignore everyone? Am I gonna pull a Cas and cu- Cas! Oh fuck! I picked my phone up and dialed his number.
No answer.
I tried again and the same thing. He's going to do something stupid. And he just might succeed this time. Shit. He won't answer his fucking phone. I can't just go over to his house and check on him. I'll just.. Check on him tomorrow. Talk some sense into him.

-Next Morning at School-

I stand where I always do and wait for Cas. I look through the crowd of people, trying to pick out Castiel from it. I can't find him though. When the bell rings I go inside and head to my first period. I pass Cas' locker and notice that his lock is off of it. I continue walking to class and when I get there, Cas isn't. Where the hell is he? He said today was his last day. I go through my day and finally get to lunch. I'm sitting next to Jo and Charlie and twirling my fork in my food. I'm not hungry. Charlie nudges me and nods towards the hall. I look up and see Cas walking with a full book-bag. I get up and run to him, "Cas! Wait!". He stops, turns around, and looks at me. Not saying a word. "Were you really gonna go and not say goodbye? When you know we'll probably never see each other again?" I said to him. He nodded. I could tell he couldn't speak, if he did he would burst into tears. "You don't have to talk. Just shake your head yes or no to my questions.. Okay?". He nodded his head yes. "Cas, do you want to break up with me?" I asked. He shook his head no. "Do you love me, Cas?" I asked. I gotta know for sure, it's the last time.. He nodded yes. He looked at me in the eyes and said, "O-of course.." His voice cracked. His eyes were getting watery. I paused for a little bit, I looked down at his arm and saw his sleeve up a little bit. There wthen asked, "Cas, will you kiss me?". He nodded yes, sat his book-bag on the ground, stepped closer and leaned up and kissed me. He grabbed the lapels of my jacket and then released it. Knowing if he did this, if we did this, we'd both end up a complete and utter mess. I whispered, "Goodbye, Cas..". He sniffed and wiped his eyes, "Goodbye, Dean..". He picked his bag up and slung it over his shoulder. I noticed he didn't have his ring on. He was already walking away so I ran up to him, "Did she take your ring?" I asked. He nodded yes. I slid my ring off and put it in his hand. When I grabbed his arm his jacket sleeve went up a little bit and revealed his scars. Cas. I didn't say anything about it, I don't want him to be even more upset. "Don't let her get it." I said. I hugged him tightly, then walked back to the cafeteria, looking back at him once. There he goes, and I can't do a damn thing about it. Not one damn thing.

I didn't go back to the cafeteria, I went to the gym and sat under the bleachers. Everything feels so dull. I bring my knees up to my chest and lay my head on them. I'm not crying, I'm just being still. Focusing on my breathing. I'm not too sure that I'm gonna be able to go on without Cas. And if I do, I'm never gonna be the same. Something is different this time. Within me. The air around me has a different effect when I breathe it in. It's slowly setting me on fire on the inside, each breath. It's like all the pressure is pushing down on me. Cas was the only thing that kept me safe. I didn't know I wasn't alive until I met him. I was dead inside. And now that he's gone, I am once again. There's no hope for me whatsoever.