I Choose You.

Chapter 18

Castiel's POV

I woke up and got showered and dressed for the day. It was Saturday so I woke up around noon. I walked downstairs and made myself some cereal. I'm good at making cereal. I sat down and ate it. My mom walked in after that, I haven't been talking to her at all. "Have you done your devotional today, Castiel?" She asked. "No." I replied. That's the most I've talked to her in two weeks. She nodded, "Do it when you're done eating." I didn't reply. I finished eating and put my dishes away. I went upstairs and opened my bible but didn't read it. She thinks I've been doing my devotionals but I never do. I haven't for a while. Since she found out about Dean, she's been making me do extra. Or so she thinks. I sat up in my room for two hours, the time she 'makes' me do my devotionals, then left to the hospital.

I walked in past the nurse that stopped me last night, I smiled big at her and walked to Dean's room. I knocked on the door and Sam opened it. "Cas!" He yelled out and hugged me. I smiled, "Hey, Sam." I half hugged him and walked in. I looked at Dean and smiled lovingly. I noticed he had a new bandage on his head. I looked at Mary and John. John still hasn't warmed up to me. Mary walked over and hugged me. I hugged her back. I shook John's hand and stepped away from him. "So are you two alright..?" Mary asked. Dean smiled and shook his head, "Yeah. We are." His voice sounded worse. I walked over to Dean and kissed his head gently. "Good. We were just leaving. Good seeing you Castiel. Maybe we'll see more of you soon." She smiled and they left. Dean scooted over and looked at me as if he was saying, "C'mon. Lay by me." I smiled at him. "Are you sure, baby? You're still weak. And you sound worse today." He nodded, "Please..". I obliged and laid down by him, intertwining out fingers. "How are you today?" I asked. He said hoarsely, "The surgeon came in. Said if he does the operation in time I'll be just fine. Might take a few months though. I'm getting it done later today. My mom will be back for it though." I squeezed his hand, "Let's hope it goes well. " I leaned over and kissed him. He smiled. "I love you." He said. I looked at him, "I know. I love you too. Take a nap. You need it." He nodded, "Stay with me though.." "Of course, my darling." He kissed my head and closed his eyes. Eventually his breathing evened out and he fell asleep. I watched him sleep for a while. He's so beautiful. Inside and out. How can this extraordinary creature be in love with me? What did I do to be so lucky as to call him mine? I can't lose him again, that's for damn sure. I snuggled up close to him and closed my eyes. I fell asleep on him.

A few hours later we had two nurses waking us up, and Mary standing next to them. "Wake up.. It's time." One of them said. Dean looked at me, "Stay with me till I go back there.." I smiled, "Of course." Then nurses wheeled the bed to the back, Mary walking along side Dean. "It's gonna be okay." She said to him. He looked at me and said, "I love you. So much." I smiled reassuringly, "I love you more, Baby." I kissed him. The nurses stopped the bed, "This is your stop." They said to me. "I'll see you in a little while, Dean. It's gonna be okay." I kissed his forehead and got off. "I love you." I said as they wheeled him back to the operating room. Mary and I walked back to Dean's room and waited for him. Mary asked what had happened with me and Dean and I told her the truth. "Wow, Castiel. I'm so sorry about your mother. You're always welcome at my home." She said. I smiled and thanked her. We chatted for a little while and then they rolled Dean back in. He was unconscious. The surgeon walked in and said to Mary and I, "They surgery was a success. He's going to be fine. It'll take about two months to fully heal, but he'll be just like brand new." He smiled. Mary and I thanked him and he walked out. While we sat there and waited for Dean to wake up, Mary got up. "I just got a text saying Sammy is sick. I'll be back later or tomorrow. Tell him that for me." I nodded and she left. I pulled my chair closer to Dean and looked at him. I held his hand. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Dean squeezing my hand and saying my name, "Cas.. Baby.. Wake up." I opened my eyes and smiled at him, "Hey, how are you feeling?" My voice was raspy. "My head hurts but other than that I'm doing well." He smiled. I brought his hand up to me and I kissed the top of it. "Want me to go tell a nurse you're awake?" He shook his head, "No.. I'm fine." I smiled at him. I checked my phone and saw the date. Tomorrow is our one year anniversary. I smiled. "What is it?" Dean asked. I looked up at him, "Tomorrow is the 16th." I smiled. He smiled, "Our one year." I nodded. "I'll do something as soon as I get out of here.. I promise, Baby." I laughed a little, "Dean.. You don't need to do anything for me. Just having you is enough." He rolled his eyes, "That's what everyone says. I'm doing something. I just gotta get out of this damned place." I shook my head and laughed, "Well, let's get you healed up first. You could've died. Lucky to be here, baby.." I looked down when I said it. I feel responsible for it. "Cas.. It's not your fault." I looked up at him, "Yeah, it is. If I wouldn't have done that you wouldn't have went out drinking and driving. It's completely my fault. I'm so sorry." I pulled my sleeves down, fighting the urge to mess with all my scars. I've been cutting since the break up. But I don't have a reason to now, right? I have him back. And I'm not going to make that mistake again. Dean noticed me messing with my sleeves, "Cas? Something you wanna share?". I shook my head, "No. Not really.". "Have you been harming yourself again?" I nodded. "Baby.. Let me see." I was hesitant at first. He's not going to judge me on these though. I pushed my sleeves up, revealing deep cuts. He gasped slightly. "Oh, Cas.. I should've been there. No matter what, I should've been there." He pulled my arms over to him and kissed my scars. "Never do that again. I need you here. It's gonna be okay. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise." I nodded again and wiped the one tear that escaped. "I love you, forever, Dean." "Stay with me tonight, Cas." I couldn't tell him no. "Okay. I'll have to tell my mom I'm staying at Benny's or something.. But of course."

It was getting late, around midnight. Dean scooted over and I climbed in next to him. I checked my phone, 11:59pm. I intertwined our fingers and checked my phone again, 12:00am. I smiled, "Happy anniversary, Baby." He looked at me and smiled, "Happy anniversary, baby. Here's to another truly amazing year." He leaned over and kissed me. We just talked for a while until we were asking deep personal questions. We were both half asleep, not caring what we were saying. "I have a question." Dean said, "Do you think we'll get married one day?" That woke me up a little bit. I looked at him, "I don't know. I definitely love you enough to. Why?" He shrugged, "I don't know. You're the first person I imagine myself actually settling down with. Just wondering." I smiled and blushed. "Lets get some rest baby." He nodded. "I love you, Cas. Happy anniversary." I smiled, "I love you too. Happy anniversary, baby." We snuggled closer together and drifted to sleep.

That question got me thinking. Would I marry Dean? Would I spend the rest of my life with him? Yeah. I would when I think about it. I look foreword to the day I get to do just that.