Psychopath (EDITING)

35

The soft flicker of warm sunrays dances across my eyes. My body feels extremely heavy, but I seem to be engulfed in a warm cocoon, so I try to relax my muscles downward and let myself be absorbed. Squinting my eyes, I try to stretch my cramped up muscles. I can't seem to remember what happened, or where I am, but as I try to open my eyes, the light through the window blinds me. 

▽▽▽

Lightly groaning, a searing headache washes over me as I attempt to get up. But, this weight on me is making that one simple task near impossible. Panic starts to rise up my throat, and I try to squirm out of whatever is holding me captive. 

Just as I start to wiggle out my arms, my hand brushes past something. I yank my hand away frightened, and squint my eyes down to see what I touched. As my mind starts to clear, I glance down to see a body tightly woven with mine, wrapped right around my stomach. At first, I want to scream and push it off. But, as my eyes come into focus, I'm suddenly entranced on the long jagged and faded lines that run along it. They are scattered all over the place, differing in size and depth. The light pink contrasts right off with the sun-kissed muscles, as I mindlessly run my fingers along each edge. Without even thinking, I'm suddenly entranced into each line and carefully drag my finger along.

A soft moan drags me back into reality. I'm suddenly brought down to Earth, and realize that not only is Stephan shirtless lying across my stomach, but his back is completely covered in numerous scars and gashes. I'm not quite sure why I wasn't thinking about what he was doing to me, and how inappropriate this is, but my mind was set on one thing, and that was how did he manage to get his back so badly scarred. Each line seems so deep, but all of them are faded. I know Stephan isn't that old, and he must've gotten these ages ago. Maybe when he was a kid?

Stephan's hands automatically start wrapping around my stomach, making me sharply breathe in. Mentally cursing myself, I draw my attention away from his scars back to reality.

"Stephan? Stephan, let go." I attempt to push him off of me, but my weak arms only nudge him. Sighing loudly, I let myself flop back down on the bed. Looking up at the ceiling, I slowly feel my body ache badly. Last night's events flashback through my mind, and I start to let myself slip back into darkness. My eyes feel so puffy and swelled, it's so hard keeping them open. Before I let my body succumb to the aching need to sleep, I hear Stephan start muttering.

"N-N-No... No!" Stephan's breathing starts to radicate, making his body shake with every movement.

"Please j-just run!!" Stephan starts to call out, "Please...", Stephan's grip on me increasingly tightens, as a silent tear runs down his face. 

"Please mom..." Stephan whimpers softly, his breathing coming out brokenly and small. My body seems to be in overdrive as I start to softly shake Stephan, and attempt to try and wake him up from his deep state. I have absolutely no idea what is happening, and what to do, but I instinctively start shaking Stephan and grab his arm tightly. 

"Stephan," I whisper, running my hands through his hair to try and calm him down. I feel the wetness of his lone tears slipping off his face onto my stomach. His breathing has calmed down, but he is still silently whimpering. 

"Uhh... hah..." Stephan groans, lifting his head from my stomach. 

"Stephan?" I whisper, cautious of triggering him when he is clearly exposed and vulnerable. Looking up at me, Stephan's eyes widen, the black shade in his eyes seems to swirl and twist around his bloodshot eyes. My hands are still vacantly tracing absent circles through his hair, but the moment I catch myself and try to yank them away, Stephan grips onto my hand. My body freezes, but the look in Stephan's eyes tells me to just let him hold me and to not run away. Carefully squeezing my arm, Stephan brings my hand up to lips to leave a small peck on the back of my hand. The moment he moves my hand away, he looks up at me, totally indifferent of what I just witnessed. Without saying anything, Stephan slowly sits up, still close next to me, and sighs deeply.

"I'm sorry Sarah," Stephan earnestly confesses, his head hung low and his body tense and cramped. Breathing heavily, I try my best not to look at him, and turn around so that my back faces him. I admit, he really does take me by surprise, but I still can't get my head around everything. I hear the soft rhythm of Stephan's quiet breathing next to me, but he just stays silent and pensive next to my side. Unable to bear the silence anymore, I ask him something that has been bothering me ever since he told me everything.

"D-did... Did you see what— What he did to me? Not... Not at the beginning but when he..." My voice catches in my throat, the memories making my eyes swell up with tears.

"Yes. I saw what that asshole did to you. Every night. I understand why you didn't do anything... but, that last night when he touched your—," Stephan pauses, letting his building emotions settle down, " What that motherfucker did to you... I swore then that the moment I had you in my arms and knew you were safe, I would end him in the worst way possible." Stephan growls out. I'm truly taken aback from his words, but what really gets me is a small voice in my head yelling out for Stephan to let me kill him. I can't even believe what I'm thinking, my body feeling like a complete stranger. I knew that I wanted him to pay for doing that, but death? Could I really kill him? Could I really let Stephan go and kill him for me?

"I-" I sputter, pausing unsure of what I want to say.

"I know I let you down in the past, my love. Fuck, I will never be able to take back what he did to you," Stephan pauses, "I will do whatever you want me to do baby. If you want me to wipe him from existence, I will. If you want me to keep him locked up and make him suffer, I will." Stephan's words make me even more torn inside, unsure of what my true feelings about everything are. Sensing my unsurety, Stephan continues.

"You don't have to decide now baby. I know you are still torn over everything, and I know I'm probably the last person you want to deal with right now, but I want you to know that I will do anything— Anything to make you happy, baby girl. I want to see you smile again." Stephan earnestly breathes out. My heart feels conflicted by everything, but having Stephan tell me that I have time to decide makes the rising pain settle down a bit. 

Minutes pass with just us on the bed, me with my back to Stephan, and Stephan resting against the back of his bed, his bare chest softly rising and falling. Unable to deal with the elephant in the room anymore, I ask.

"Stephan, what happened earlier? You were calling out for—" I pause, softly turning around to face Stephan, "You were calling out for your mother. What happened?" My curiosity beating every sense in my body to just let it go.