Drowning

Chapter Eight

I looked down at the pill bottle in my hand moving it around watching the bright blue pills taunt me. It was finally going to be over. All of my pain from all her, from the people she married, from what happened over the last 4 years. I took a deep breath as I picked up my whiskey bottle taking a long swig of it. I can finally be happy. No one can hurt me now. I could go back to where I was happy, with my baby. I closed my eyes as I lifted the pill bottle up to my mouth ready to unload them into my body. I felt a hand grab mine making me jump, but another held me to the ground. “What are you doing?” I looked over to see Finnley looking at me in horror.

“I’m making it go away.” I tried to pull my wrist out of his tight grip. He wouldn’t let go. He yanked me back from the edge of the seawall pulling into his hard body. I took another sip from my whiskey before he noticed I had it.

“Where the hell did you get that?” He glared down at it as I shook my head.

“I just want it to end. I just want it all to end.” Fin shook his head taking the pills out of my hand.

“What happened?” He turned me around so I was looking at him. He lifted my chin gently turning it to look at my face. “Oh Baby, what happened?” I shook my head.

“Please, just let me end it.” I couldn’t cry. I had no more tears. I just stared at him.

“I can’t let you do that.” He laid his head on my shoulder. “Please, let me help you.” I shook my head.

“I’m beyond help. I’m just a fucked up mess.” He gently took my face into his hands.

“Let me decide that. Let me help you. I can. Please don’t give up.” I whimpered at him as he rubbed my arms as a breeze hit.

“I can’t anymore.” I sighed. He shook his head.

“What about Matty and Danny? What are they going to think?” I shrugged. I haven’t thought about them. “It’s selfish.”

“I’m a very selfish person.” Fin shook his head as I took another gulp of whiskey. “Very selfish.” I could feel the alcohol starting to take effect.

“That’s not true. You are a great person.” He moved his hand looking at the blood on it. “What happened to you?” I shook my head putting on his shoulder.

“I hate myself. I just want to run away from it and never come back.” He rubbed my back.

“Is it Danny? Is Danny hurting you?” I shook my head.

“My mom is mean.” I closed my eyes as I lifted the whiskey up from another welcome burning gulp. “So, so, mean.”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He kissed my head. “Give me the bottle.” I opened my eyes to look at him. “It’s okay.” I shook my head. “I’m here, it’s okay.” I handed it to him. He threw it over the wall making it splash as it hit the water.

“Are you going to protect me?” I slurred holding on to him. “Even from myself?” He held my head to his chest.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” I felt the shot of adrenaline as I stared up at him in horror.

“Please don’t take me back, please.” He blinked at me. “I’m begging you.”

“Shhh, I didn’t mean your house. Come on.” He lifted me up not trusting me to walk on my own. “You’re coming home to my house. It safer there.” He laid me in the front seat of the truck. I buckled myself in. “I can watch you there.” He closed the door walking around getting in.

“Why do you like me?” I asked him watching him as he drove away.

“I don’t know.” He sighed. He ran a rand over his shaven head. “I’m just drawn to you. You can’t go now.” He gave me a weak smile. “We haven’t even had our date yet.”