Alex's POV:
"You came out to me right after eighth grade year, and something in me flipped," he explains. "The entire time, I was on the edge with my sexuality. The way you made me feel was different than any friend would make me feel, and once you said you were gay, it made me happier than I should've been, and my mind was flooded with thoughts of what would happen if we dated. That's how I knew I was falling for you, and I cared about you as more than a friend was supposed to."
"Jack, I still don't understand. You still left me after that. Why would you leave me if you had feelings for me? You could have told me."
"I- I didn't want to hurt you, Lex. I wasn't sure if I was actually into you or not, because it was all so new. My heart knew, but my brain second-guessed as usual. Somehow, to remedy that, I decided that I needed to distance myself from you so I wouldn't fall for you. My parents wouldn't accept if I was gay- they don't even know that you are.
"I was so stupid for trying to do that, it's just I'd never forgive myself if something happened in a potential relationship and then our friendship shattered as well. Y'know how they say that sometimes, you need to break your own heart to save someone else's? I tried to do that, but now I see that we need to be in each other's lives. I'm still terrified of something happening between us, but I'm willing to try," he finishes. He looks up at me, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. He bites his bottom lip, his hands fiddling with the bottom of his sweatshirt.
I don't say anything; I just kiss him. He kisses me back with so much desire that I hate myself for not confessing my feelings sooner. He was just scared, and I understand that. I can't be mad at him anymore because it all seemed to work out. My best friend was back, only this time, as more than friends. Fuck, I didn't realize how much I wanted this until now.
I swing myself onto his lap, not breaking the kiss. My hands go from his shoulders up into his hair, and his go from my waist onto my legs. He pulls away momentarily for air, whispering, "Fuck, Lex, what kind of spell do you have on me?" In response, I push him down, connecting our lips again. My hands stay in his hair while his move to my back. He wraps his legs around my waist, pulling me toward him.
Then, just to ruin the moment, the hallway light turns on.
Jack's POV:
My eyes widen, and I push Alex off of me as fast as I can, sitting up. The door opens and my mom walks in, flicking my light on.
"Oh, Alex, you're here!" she exclaims, walking over and hugging him. "It's been so long, how have you been?"
"I- I'm doing pretty good," he replies, trying to hide the fact that he's almost out of breath.
My mom notices, and of course, she asks. "You seem to be out of breath, are you okay?"
"Yeah, Jack and I were just talking and he said something funny, so we were laughing," he replies. It's not the best response, but my mom believes it.
"I'll leave you boys to it, then. Don't stay up too late, but if you do, just be quiet. Goodnight," she chirps.
"Goodnight," Alex and I say in unison. She closes the door, and I turn to look at Alex. He turns back at me, and after a few seconds, we burst into nervous laughter.
"Shit, that was close," he says.
"Too close," I reply, still laughing.
Our laughter fizzles out, and Alex takes my hand. "So, for real now, what are we?"
"I don't really know, honestly. Is it too soon to be official?"
"Whatever you want to do, Jack."
"Don't leave this up to me," I whine. "You know how much I hate decisions."
"Fine, then will you go out with me?"
I don't know why, but I wasn't expecting him to ask that. I thought he'd want time after it all, but maybe he really does feel the same about me. Maybe he has cared as long as I have. As much as I tell myself this, it comes back to me. I don't want to hurt him if something if something happens in our relationship, damaging our friendship for good. "I- I just..." I say softly.
"Do you not want to?" he asks, confused.
"No, I really do like you, Lex, it's just-"
"Same reason as last time? Same as when you pushed me away?" he asks. I swear, this boy can read my mind.
"Yes," I answer, ashamed. My voice breaks as I say it and a lump forms in my throat. Alex squeezes my hand, taking his other hand to lift my chin up so I'm facing him.
"Jack Barakat, I promise you, I care about you more than you'll ever begin to imagine. I have since seventh grade," he murmurs. He moves his hand from my chin to my cheek, wiping away the lone tear just as it escapes my eye. "I'll never do anything to hurt you, and I'll give you all the space you need to sort things out because I know this is all new to you. Just please remember I'm on your side, even after everything."
Alex's POV:
He smiles weakly, and I pull his head into my chest as he finally lets all his built up emotion spill out. I repeatedly kiss the top of his head, trying to reassure him. "What do you say, Jack? Want to go out with me? Have a new, better beginning?"
"I want nothing more," he mumbles into my chest, still crying. "I'm so sorry about everything that one summer, I'm so, so incredibly sorry."
"Shh, it's okay, Jack. It's in the past now."
YOU ARE READING
You Broke Me, You Saved Me (Jalex)
Fanfiction-COMPLETED- - trigger warnings in first chapter "Let's get to my house, we need to get you warm," he says. I look at him, and he's soaking wet. He's only wearing a short sleeve shirt with skinny jeans, since he gave me the sweatshirt he was wearing...
