psychotic // l.h.

10 - sunny side up

Sorry, kinda filler-ish. Next chapter is gonna pretty important so this is just the set up. Hope you like it either way and give me feed back in the comments please.

Lots of love -Em

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I woke up in Luke’s arms and it felt right. He felt warm, I felt safe. I really shouldn’t feel good with him but I did. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder and I remembered it hitting me square in the jaw. I remember the way it stung but I still felt nothing.

And then I was wide awake and rigid as I feel his breath on the back of my neck, I felt his warmth radiating off his body and it didn’t make me feel loved, it made me feel terrified. I thought of how I could move away, maybe if I moved slowly he wouldn’t wake up. But the moment I moved I felt his arms tighten around me and I felt his lips kiss along my neck softly and soothingly, in a way that made my stomach churn with hatred.

“Good morning, darling.” He said, his voice rough and low from sleep.

“Good morning.” I reply in the most nonchalant way possible. I had to get out of here and I had to make him believe that I was in love with him, to gain his trust.

“Do you want me to make eggs on toast?” I asked, moving to get out of bed but he pulled me closer to him.

“Maybe in a minute, I just want to hold you.” He said, smoothing my hair out and running his fingers through my knotted hair. Every kiss he left on my skin made it crawl with resentment. He was breathing in my scent, relishing in my presence and I wanted it to stop with all my heart, but I had to stay calm. I had to pretend to be in love.

I sighed before I waited a few seconds, counted down from thirty before I leaned over and gave him the most loving peck on the cheek I could muster. He smiled into it and tried to pull me back for more but I giggled, the sound gurgled from the back of my throat, as I moved away from him teasingly and ran out of the room while still chortling. I made my way downstairs.

I searched through some cupboards, looking for the frying pan and also wondering if he hid my phone in a different cupboard. But even if Luke was sick, he wasn’t an idiot and had clearly thought of a better place as I fell across the frying pan in the bottom drawer. I started with the eggs when I felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around my waist and pull me in. I jumped and nearly burnt myself on the frying pan.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Luke said with a chuckle, rubbing his thumb on my arm in soothing circles.

“It’s ok, do you like your eggs flipped or sunny side up?” I asked, grabbing the egg carton from the fridge then returning to the stove as Luke leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Sunny side up.” he said, and I nodded, cracking the egg open and continuing with making the bread.

“You know, I was thinking, maybe you’d want to go out to dinner tonight. Like a real date.” he asked casually, tapping his fingers lightly on the counter. I froze and looked behind me at him, his ice blue eyes piercing into me.

“Uhm, yeah sure.” I said, mulling the idea that this might be my shot to try to get away from him. This could be my only shot.

“Great, I’ll make reservations.” He replied, pulling out the milk from the fridge and pouring two glasses. The scene before me could’ve convinced me that we were a in functional, happy relationship. He seemed like a typical loving boyfriend, caring for me, organizing dinner as I made us both breakfast. It could have fouled anyone, even me. But he didn’t love me, his emotions weren’t real no matter how much I tried to convince myself I might be special.

My mind began to wander as he made the call to the restaurant. I started to think about the room, the one I walked into the morning after I woke up here. I hadn’t dared give the room a second glance after walking down the hallways to the bathroom, but I knew it had something to do with Luke’s ex girlfriend.

I heard Luke hang up the phone behind me as I put his egg on the toast and turned around to put it on the counter.

“Thank you, honey.” He said, kissing my cheek before sitting at the table. I have no idea why he started to eat his egg on toast with a knife and fork but I wasn’t about to bring it up considering the question I was about to ask.

“Your welcome, hey… Luke, can I ask you a question that you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to?” I asked, trying to play it safe, hoping for a positive reaction or no reaction at all, but I knew that this was something he reacted badly too. I just needed to know.

“Yeah.” I replied, digging into his eggs.

“Who did the room upstairs belong to?” I ask, looking at my hands and watching his reaction on the reflecting counter top.

He dropped his cutlery on the table, the clattering noise seeming to echo around the room.

“Why are you asking?”

“I’m just curious.” I replied.

“It’s none of you business.” He said, picking his knife and fork back up and going back to eating, as if the conversation was over just like that.

“I’m going to go upstairs.” I say, turning to walk but I hear the chair scrap on the ground.

“Don’t you dare go into that room.” He said, walking behind me and gripping my wrist in his hand tightly. I make a move tug it away, but his grip is firm as his nails dig into my skin.

“Luke, you’re hurting me.”

“Promise me you won’t go up into that room. You are going to make yourself breakfast and then sit down and eat with me. We are going to talk and your are going to be in love with me.” He said, and I felt tears sting the corner of my eyes and blur my vision with the grip he had on my arm.

“P-please, Luke. Stop.” I say, turning towards him finally and shrinking away from him. His cold eyes met with mine and the moment he say the tear leaving the corner of my eye he let go immediately and stepped back, breathing heavily like letting go was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. I sighed in reliefs and backed against the wall behind me. I leaned against it for support as his eyes burned my skin with their gaze.

“I’m sorry.” he said, before turning and walking in the other direction. Leaving me in the kitchen, leaning against the wall as the frying pan still burnt on the stove. I stumbled over to turn the stove off and looked down at me throbbing wrist. Bruises the shape of finger prints running along my delicate skin, purple dents formed and reminded me of the emptiness I felt only the day before.

I felt empty again, sliding down the counter.

I felt empty again, clutching my wrist to my chest and pulling my knees closely to my body.

I felt empty again, as I stared blankly into space and tried to think of happy things.