The title is funny and engaging which is good to attract younger readers, (teenagers)
That pretty shade of purple with the man in formal wear makes the cover stand out.
Your blurb is straight and to the point with a great choice of quote.
The first chapter was quick and rushed as if to get more dialogue than the description on the page and it ended up being so short and without enough information about the antagonist (Venessa)
There wasn't a balance. The next few chapters were better with balance though.
The grammar was okay but it needs improvement.
I did like that you separated the present thoughts that came to mind with the italic font in the chapters.
Although in all honesty, I felt that by the fifth chapter the readers should already know who the second main character is (hot bodyguard). He has an important role in the story, so it would be better to meet him a bit earlier in the scenes. That way it could convey a more realistic relationship between the two main characters when they have more time to interact with each other.
So far it's a little cliche but I believe you can work around that and give a few surprises.
Good luck with your story,
-Empress🐧
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Reviews from the Empire
Random✏ The title says it all. If you can handle a critic and the truth in your writing, then don't shy away. Do you want a review? Read on and find out how. (If CFC is at the top here, it means this review book is closed for catch-up.) 🐧 Book cover by...
