unCHANGED |unOrdinary| John x Sera

Chapter 5.2 | Empty

Wellston Girl's dormitories

Sera PoV

What the fu*k was that?!

I stormed into my dorm, calling out to Elaine who thankfully wasn't home. Slamming my door shut, I pressed my forehead against the cold wood. I tried my best to cool down.

What was that asshat thinking? Asking me on a date to make it up to me. As if it was some too-good-to-be-true deal! Pathetic! Who does he think he is?!

I played my cards right! He really got a taste of his own medicine!, I laughed. He even cried-

At this point I was overwhelmed by guilt. I didn't know whether I actually believed what I told him, but I never thought I was capable of such cruelty, especially to John. He was trying to make it right. Like an idiot, but still.

At least I told him how I felt. Now he knows.

But my reasoning didn't make me feel any better. I completely exploited his feelings! My mind drifted to the almost-kiss at the end. What the hell was I thinking!?

He deserved it, he lied to me and brushed it off like it was nothing! I argued with myself.

No! He looked genuinely sorry, and I treated him like garbage. I put my feelings first, completely disregarding his.

That was a lie.

I wanted to make him feel bad. I wanted to hurt him. And I was disgusted at myself for it.  I had no idea that I've stooped so low. I could have explained my perspective but I lost control.

Now, I was worried about the heartbroken ravenette whom I left in the train. How was he going to take it?

As much as I fought against it, fear crept into my heart. Thoughts of him hunting me down and  taking his vengeance tormented me. I started to panic, but suddenly, I stopped.

John won't do that. He'd never hurt me intentionally. I shouldn't be so scared.

Droning over to my room, I collapsed onto my soft sheets and bawled. I knew I had screwed it all up. My reaction was uncalled for. Now John is gone.

I failed him.

??? 23:27

John PoV

The rain poured down like a tsunami, mercilessly beating down on anything in its path. I sat curled up in the entryway of some random apartment building. My clothes were soaked through completely and I was freezing, yet it didn't matter to me.

My brain was overheating with unanswered questions and guilt a constant buzz throughout my mind. How could I have messed up so bad?

I scoffed at my stupid question. Because I'm a good-for-nothing waste of space. I don't deserve Sera, I never have.

I sighed, She doesn't deserve to have to deal with something like me.

I knew she was right,I lost it again. I attacked Arlo, I completely degenerated my so-called 'progress' because of my need for vengeance. I hurt her, twice.

I stared at my trembling hands, how? How can I be such a...I chuckled melancholically, monster. It made sense now. I should just leave, hide in some cave and die there.

No one would care.

Everyone who ever had any hope for me? I disappointed them. Sera, Dad- that's it.