NOTE: I REVISED BEFORE YOU GO, SO THERE WILL BE SOME MISINFORMATION IN THIS ONE REGARDING LEON & ELIZA'S RELATIONSHIP. I WILL FIX IT SOON, THOUGH!
* I would HIGHLY recommend reading BEFORE YOU GO and THE ONE YOU FIGHT FOR before you read this novel...
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Aria
I wish it would start raining. The rain would suit my current style much better than the twinkling stars in the clear night sky do. Today's been an effortless day; I've stayed locked in my room wearing nothing but baggy sweatpants and a sports bra while I binge-watch reruns of The Office with my hair tied up in a damp, messy bun. I think the only productive thing I've done today is shower, which is saying a lot considering how shitty I feel.
Despite my good intentions to keep Leo safe, to give him his life back, I can't stop myself from questioning whether or not I did the right thing. I know I hurt him by ending things. But the thing is, you can heal from a broken heart. It can change you as a person, but not nearly as much as the stress and anxiety of a relationship can. He's strong, God, he's so strong. I just couldn't handle seeing him under too much pressure; suffering like he was. It was unfair to him, to have to deal with the problems that my life was causing him. That being said, I'm also extremely selfish. There's a part of me that wishes I could take everything I said back and make him deal with the drama just so I could have him by my side.
I sigh, shutting off my iPad. I don't think watching more episodes of The Office is going to be able to get my mind off of Leo at this point or the fact that I'm falling behind in training. I sit up and drop my face into my hands, rubbing my temples. Ever since I ended things with Leo, I've been off my game. I'm not saying that he's the reason I'm such a good player or anything like that. No, I have the skills because of all the hard work I've done over the years. The fact of the matter is, is that I can't concentrate on the game because I feel guilty for just leaving Leo there. I feel guilty for inadvertently putting so much pressure on him.
I'm just a mess of contradicting emotions at the moment.
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. I roll my eyes. I've lost count of how many times my Mom has come in and tried to talk to me about what's happened. I've lost count of how many times I've refused. Mom and Dad, probably because of Scarlett and Benn, as well as the video, both have an idea of what's happened between Leo and I. They probably want to talk to me about how this is affecting me and shit. But the thing is, there's nothing left to be said. I made my decision. And, as much as I regret it, I need to stick with it. Leo's got his whole life ahead of him. Besides, it's probably best for us to end things now, before he leaves. I know we discussed everything and mapped out how we were going to remain a couple, but when has that ever really worked for any couple in the world? At some point, it was all going to fall apart. It was a pipe dream.
"Come in," I sigh, knowing I'm not going to be able to worm my way out of this one unless I scale the side of the house.
I'm expecting Mom to enter my shared bedroom. She's always had a knack for solving problems. Each time we've had one in the family, she sits everyone down and forces us to solve them so they don't fester and become worse than need be. This time, however, I'm greeted by my dad. He's dressed in grey cargo shorts and a black T-shirt. He holds up two frosted glasses of lemonade. "I come bearing gifts." He nods at the foot of my bed. "Is this seat taken?"
