Keeping Tabs

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The entire next year was a bit of a blur, but I can tell you that Micah, Colin and I all spent every moment together possible. Nothing out of our ordinary routine happened until my thirteenth birthday, when my parents allowed Colin and Micah to spend the night. When I invited them, I expected to hear excuses, because what teenage boy wants to spend the night at a thirteen year old girl's house? I was shocked when Micah and Colin both said yes. I almost didn't know what to do as the day approached.

My mother ordered pizza, my father rented movies, and then they made sure to be gone for the night before either of my friends showed up, despite my dad’s protests. Micah showed up first, as I'd expected. And though I wasn't fully expecting him to, Colin showed up less than an hour later.

I tried to keep from looking too excited as I let him in, but I gave that up as soon as I saw the bottle that he pulled from his overnight bag. I had never held an entire fifth before then, and I wasn't too sure who Jack Daniels was, exactly, but I was sure that this was going to be a great time. And it was.

Colin introduced both Micah and I to a game called Circle of Death. By the end of the bottle, Micah had lost his shirt and passed out on my bedroom floor, and I had somehow managed to wind up curled against Colin on my bed. We were finishing the last movie when it happened.

Amid the myriad of explosions on the screen, Colin looked down at me lying on his chest, and I could practically feel his eyes burning holes into the back of my head, so I looked back up at him. The goofy smile plastered on his face told me that he was as drunk as I felt. The light in his eyes was pure mischief, and when his lips pressed against mine, the explosions jumped from the TV to my head. I moaned as he shifted against me, and he applied more pressure to the kiss.

I opened my mouth instinctively when he ran his tongue across my bottom lip, and when our tongues actually touched, it was pure fireworks. My heart raced faster as he began to pant, and I felt more grown up and amazing than I had ever felt before then. The mood shifted from playful to urgent when I felt his fingers blazing a trail up my abdomen toward my bra. Everything in my brain screamed all at once for him to stop and keep going.

He rolled on top of me and I shifted beneath his weight in such a natural movement that I felt like I was born for this moment. He moaned my name as I felt his hands touch me in the most intimate of places, his body blatantly telling me what he wanted, and mine responding in turn. I gasped in shocked pleasure as I managed to get his shirt off; he was even more perfect than I'd dreamed! I couldn't believe that this was actually happening!

He pressed the full length of his body against mine, his lips moving toward my neck. He slid one hand under me and had my bra off of me before I even realized what he was doing. His mouth never left my skin as he performed the tiny chore. I had figured he was good, but I just didn't know until then just how good!

I was grinding against him, more than willing to make this my last moment as a virgin, but that's when he glanced across the room to make sure that Micah was asleep, and his eyes fell on the balloon that Micah had attached to the gift that he'd brought me. The balloon that had a bright pink thirteen emblazoned on the front of it. And the mood shifted just that quickly. I hated Micah and his stupid balloon for the rest of the night.

“I can't do this,” Colin breathed the words into my mouth as he kept kissing me, his hands reverting back to a more neutral area, my waist. My desperation began to soar to new heights as I felt his conviction drain from the kiss. I tried to make up for it by intensifying my own behavior, but he snaked his arms around mine, breaking my hold on his neck. He pulled away from me, shaking his head solemnly as he backed to the end of my bed and began looking for his shirt.

“What's wrong? Why not?” I nearly panicked as I waited for him to answer. He pinched his nose and dropped his head as he pointed at that damn balloon. I began to choke up, not wanting my perfect night ruined by a piece of Mylar holding some helium. I was very close to begging when he stood up and put on his shoes.

“What are you doing?”I was panicking now. I didn't want him to leave!

“I should definitely go. It's not your fault, but I should know better, and if I stay I won't care enough to stop. So I need to go.” Colin sounded so level and sober as he spoke, and it's only now that I realize just how hard that decision was for him. At the time, I begged, I pleaded, and then argued with him just to make him stay. He only became more determined to get out of my house as he listened to me. I broke down and cried for nearly two hours as soon as I had locked the door behind him, defeated in my desperate efforts to keep him there.

My sobbing must have woken Micah up after a while, because he stumbled down my stairs, looking for me. I heard him shuffle through the dining room toward me, and I just couldn't manage to stop crying. He walked into the living room, and an instant later, I was in his arms, crying in front of the door. I still find that a bit ironic. We've been there many times in my life, and it just never gets old.

“What's wrong, sweetie? And where's Colin?” Micah's soft voice only made the second question sting that much more. It only made me sob harder, and I could feel that he was nodding in understanding. He knew what had happened, I could feel it. And somewhere deep down I really did blame him and his damn balloon for this whole mess. Without really paying attention, I swiped at his face with my hand, and he stoically caught my wrist, pulling my hand down to his shoulder as he smoothed my hair.

It actually shocked me a bit when he gathered me up into his arms and carried me back up the stairs, letting me cry until I ran dry. He was always the perfect friend, even when I wasn't. He laid me across my bed and disappeared long enough to find two spoons and the tub of ice cream my mother had bought for the occasion.

Halfway through the carton of ice cream he tried to strike up conversation, but I still cried. Finally, he set down his spoon and grabbed me by the shoulders, worry and anger intermingling on his face as he got up, pulling me with him.

“Tabs, tell me what happened. Seriously, did he hurt you? What happened?” Micah could barely keep himself from shaking me. I shakily told him what had happened, and he sat down halfway through my explanation and began to laugh a bit as he came to the full realization of what had transpired less than ten feet from his head.

“First of all, that's kinda gross, but that's sweet. He didn't go that far because he doesn't want to hurt you, not because he doesn't like you. I get why he didn't, but God help you when you're older, because he's gonna be after it now.”

So once again, it came down to that “level” that I just didn't measure up to. I was truly beginning to resent it. I asked the one question I had left.

“So why did he leave?”

“He probably had to go 'take care of it', and he most likely didn't trust himself around you. Take it as a compliment and be ready for when you're not 'too young' anymore.” Micah smiled mischievously at me as he let me contemplate my future in the group. Our funky little trio and here I was, just a bit too young for my role. And Micah continued to reassure me that I'd grow into it.