Spaces Between Us

Harry

The silence in the car was killing me, not a word was being said. Not even from Louis, who normally always has something to say. Liam was seated in the front seat while the rest of us sat at the back. I tried several times to make conversation with Niall, all to no avail. He's completely shut me out.

"How much further?" I asked, sighing and leaning my head back on my chair,

"Unless this car magically gained the power to teleport in the five minutes since you last asked,if not, then just ten more minutes to go. So, not long Mr Styles." The driver quipped. I huffed,  'rude' I thought to myself, glancing out the window.

"Lauren wants me to speak at the funeral." Louis said all of a sudden. We all looked at him, surprised that he hadn't mentioned this earlier.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Liam responded, reaching over from the front to put a conforting hand on Louis' knee.

"I know, Liam, don't worry. I figured since I'm the one with the most experience in burials and funerals, it's best I do it." None of us knew whether to laugh or cry at his comment and we all glanced at each other awkwardly. Louis rolled his eyes, "It's joke, relax guys."

After about five minutes the car came to a halt and the driver turned to make eye contact with me, "We're finally here, Mr Styles." Louis and Niall laughed at his passive aggresiveness and I rolled my eyes but there was a small smile evident on my lips. Niall went to open the door but Liam locked it before he could do so;

"Before we get out, I just want us to try and be on our best behaviour to-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Louis cut Liam off, offended by his words.

" What I'm trying to say is, we're going to be feeling a lot of emotions and we shouldn't allow our feelings towards others ruin the day."

Louis rolled his eyes, unlocking the door and stepping out. "I'm not a child, Liam." He said while doing so. Niall left the car after him.

"Liam, who's going to be here?" I asked, my voice laced with suspicion. Liam shook his head before exiting the car as well. I  groan in annoyence before muttering a quick word of thanks to the driver and leaving the car. As I stepped out of the car and allowed myself to take in my surroundings, I realized that I'd pushed Simon's death to the back of my mind and I'd never truly allowed myself to process it. I looked around me to see people all in black, some comforting each other and others wiping tears out of their eyes. As I stood there taking it all in, tears threatening to fall from eyes, I felt an arm on my back.

"You get used to it." Louis whispered, I glanced at him but he wasn't looking at me. " This isn't even the hardest part. The hardest part is sitting there and listening to people pretending they knew him."

"Was it like that at Fizz's" I didn't dare look at him, I didn't want to see his reaction.

"It's Felicité to you." He did't say anything else for a while after that and I almost walked away but then he spoke again.   
"I did precisely what Fizz would've wanted. There was no big event; just Lottie, the twins, the little ones, my dad and I. After we buried her, we had a little memorial service. We talked for hours about all our favourite moments with her."

"Louis, I'm sorry. I-"

"Harry, please don't. Just fucking don't, you made your choice a long time ago." Louis cut me off, wiping his eyes dry. I made a choice a while back, a choice that I will continue to regret everyday of my life.

"Harry, come on." Liam pulled on my arm, bringing me out of my thoughts. He dragged me to the others and we make our way down the designated path way, we stopped every once and a while to greet people before we finally make it to our seats.