Spaces Between Us

Harry

"I can't believe she wouldn't even to tell us where Paul is buried." Louis whined sadly and Niall gave him a pat on the back before walking over to Liam who was trying to converse with the receptionist. We had just returned from Paul's home and his wife wanted nothing to do with us. I didn't blame her, we were a disgrace to his memory.

"Well we did the right thing by coming here, at least we tried." Zayn comforted and I nodded in agreement.

"I have no idea what she's saying Niall, her accent is too strong."I heard Liam say and I turned to see him rubbing his temples. He waited for Niall's response but Niall stared absently ahead of him, I tapped Zayn and nodded towards Niall. Zayn took a couple steps towards him already sensing something was about to happen. Before any of us knew it, Niall started crying uncontrolloably. Louis, Liam and I looked at each to each other unsure of what to do while Zayn took initiative and rushed to his side and engulfing him in a hug.

"Liam, just tell her we'll take any fucking room,Liam hurry!" Zayn screamed. The lady gave the Liam the keys to an ensuite and Zayn picked Niall up and carried him bridal style to the room. I opened the door giving Zayn passage who gently placed Niall on the bed and took off his shoes.

"What's wrong with him." Louis asked with worry.

"It's hitting him all at once. All that pent up emotion has finally caught up with him." Zayn explained solemnly. He held Niall to his chest and cradled him, holding his head to his chest while softly singing to him. My heart warmed at the sight and tears found their way to my eyes. Zayn was an amazing person who deserved the world, to think he suffered so much and he suffered on his own broke me. He went through so much and we were all oblivious to it and then when he needed us the most we all turned our backs on him and allowed the world to villify him.Niall cried and cried until eventually Zayn's soothig voice coerced him into a deep slumber.

"That was intense, I just, I think I need some air." Louis announced, taking his jacket before leaving the room. Liam retired to his bed complaining about fatigue and a headache. I sighed heavily, the past days had slowly drained the life out of all us. Though One Direction was on a hiatus, none of us really had been able to take the break we needed. We were all thrust into a whole new world, on our own this time without having the time to just take a step back and evaluate all that has happened in our lives. We hadn't the time to learn from our mistakes and do better, be better. Zayn covered Niall with a duvet, checking on him before stepping out onto the balcony. I took my jacket and Zayn's and followed him out closing the door behind me.

"Here." I said handing it to him, he smiled in response, grabbing it and putting it on. He took out a cigarette and I scrunched up my face, I wasn't a fan but I wasn't going to tell him that. We were only just on friendly terms, I wasn't going to let something as small as a cigarette ruin this.

"How you holding up?" Zayn asked, letting out a puff of smoke while staring ahead  at the night sky. His question confused me, it was a simple question yet so difficult to answer. How was I holding up?I didn't know, I didn't have panic attacks like he did nor was I filld with rage like Louis. I had never felt the need to cry like Niall just did but I was sad, like all the time. Everything and anything annoyed me. I just wanted to be alone at all times.

"I, I don't know. Better than Niall I guess?" Zayn chuckled at my response taking in another set of toxins from his cigarette. "I heard you did shrooms while writing your album, you promised me the first time you'd do drugs you'd it with me." He complained, pushing me slightly.

"Well that was before you left." Silence. Zayn didn't say anything instead taking a drag of his cigarette and releasing a cloud of smoke into the air. Way to fucking go, Harry, you just ruined a perfectly good moment. He was just joking you idiot. "So, how's Gigi?" I asked awkwardly, hoping to bring back the mood. Zayn put out his cigarette and clasped his hands together. The wind howled against our ears and messed up our hair, not that it was in good shape in the first place.