Infernal

2.

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah

-Christina Perri 

Sipping on my glass of water, I eyed the people sitting at the dining table with me. As always, I was seated far away from the other five people at the table. The Alpha, Luna and their three sons. Otherwise known as my family, my parents and brothers. I watched as they continued to converse with one another and eat the dinner that had been cooked by Linda, the housekeeper. Linda was a quiet woman, with fair hair and green eyes; she was mated to our gardener and they always seemed to keep to themselves. In my nineteen years of existence, I hadn't even had a single conversation with Linda or her mate Paul. Barely anyone in the pack spoke to me and I knew that it was because of my family.

I knew my family hated me; they despised the fact that I was different. The day I was born, was my father's worst day of his life; I knew this because he made every effort to remind me. My mother was always distant, and at times it was as if she regretted giving birth to me.

The disappointment and hatred that my family felt for me grew, even more, when I first shifted into my wolf, like any other sixteen-year-old at the time. Not only was that day embarrassing for me, but it was also the day that I had felt excruciating pain. I could still remember the way the Alpha stared at me as he took in my wolf. He hated the very sight of me and that's when he made the order that would change my life forever.

My body heaved with fatigue; the beat of my heart hammered in my ribcage. All I felt was immense pain as my body lay slumped on the hard ground. Just as I tried to lift my head to look at myself, the chance was stripped from me.

"Look at me!" The Alpha commanded, and just at his will, my very eyes stared up at the towering Alpha. His eyes were narrowed into slits as he took in the sight of me.

"You shifted," he stated bitterly, his fist clenched at his sides. I couldn't understand his anger, shouldn't he be happy that I shifted? Shouldn't he be proud that his only daughter had finally connected with her inner wolf?

A crowd of pack members stood a metre away from the Alpha, they whispered instinctively, and my new wolf hearing struggled to hear what they were all saying.

"You don't deserve to have a wolf; you do not deserve to be connected to your natural instincts!" The Alpha spat out as he crouched down to my level, his cold eyes never leaving mine.

I let out a soft whimper of confusion. I didn't understand why he hated me so much, what had I ever done to him?

The Alpha's nostrils flared at the sound of my whimper; I saw the flecks of gold in his eyes; his wolf making an entrance. His wolf should've felt some sort of paternal care towards me, but I never saw it. I never felt the love or care from this Alpha, only hatred and disgust.

"I never want to see you shift again! Do you understand?!" The Alpha bellowed.

I growled out in protest, my wolf hating what the Alpha was saying; it wasn't right. At the sound of my complaint, the Alpha swung his fist down into my muzzle, causing a whine of pain to escape. Tears pooled in my eyes, the sting of his violence was still freshly there, and it hurt me to know that this Alpha who was supposed to be my father, hated me and what I was.

The wind felt strong around us, the Alpha's hair was tossed about, his shirt crimpled at the power of the wind. The grass moved about trying its best to stay upright and not bend to the will of the wind. I shivered as the cold wind nipped at my fur, but it wasn't only the wind that made me cold; the Alpha's scrutinizing gaze did too.