Breathe Me

Chapter 3

Trigger warning, mentions of self-harm and bulimia. If easily triggered please do not read!

Sorry for not updating recently, I'll update at least once a week from now on !!

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"Thank you for the lift, Niall." I murmur softly.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I actually had a good time. I even smiled! We played FIFA and got to know each other. I learned that his family moved from Ireland when he was 6 and got accepted into the Styles pack, and even though he's a beta, he's Harry's third in command. He's also told me about Harry. He's tall and muscly and has unruly curly hair. Apparently he's looking for his mate, and Niall thinks 'I'm it'.

Although I know as soon as he finds out the truth about me, he will be running for the hills.

"It's alright mate, I shall see you at school tomorrow." He gave me an awkward side hug, as I mumbled a goodbye back. I open the car door and wave at him as he drives off. As I walk to my front door, I hear a deep laugh coming from inside. Why didn't my mum tell me we were having guests? I unlock the front door and gasp at who I see. 

No no no no no, this can't be happening why is he here!? Why is he back?

"Hello Louis, good to see you." He says acidly.

My mum sighs and shakes her head, but still has a soft smile on her face. What? Why isn't she sticking up for me?! I stand awkwardly in the doorway, while my mum pecks his cheek and walks into the kitchen, me following after her.

"Mum why is he here?!?" I say trying to stay calm.

"He's here Louis because he regrets walking out on us, and wants us to be a proper family again." She sighs happily. Am I actually hearing this right now?

"You have got to be kidding me." I growl losing my patience.

"Don't you growl at me, young man." That's when I lost it.

"Are you being serious right now? You're actually thinking about letting him back into our lives? After all, he has done to us? In case you can't remember MUM HE LEFT BECAUSE I WAS AN OMEGA AND UNLESS YOU'VE FORGOTTEN I'M STILL AN OMEGA! Do you not remember you crying your eyes out for weeks because he left us? Because I sure as hell do!" I splutter I'm furious now. What the hell is wrong with her?

The next thing I know an excruciating pain spreads across my face, as a hand connects with my cheek sending me to the ground. I look up at my so-called mother from the ground with tears blurring my vision. She just hit me. Just like dad did. Her face is red with anger but shock and regret start flooding into her eyes, as she gasps at what she's just done. She tries to reach out to touch me, but I instinctively cower away from her touch making her recoil.

"Loui-"

"Don't." I spit at her. I shakily stand to my feet and push past her and head to my bedroom. These are the times I wish I had friends, I shake my head sadly as I lock my door. Heading straight to my bag and pulling out my blade. 

See even your own mother hates you now. If she finds out about the bullying she will most probably laugh in my face, telling me how worthless I am. 

I take all of my clothes off, only leaving my boxers on as I stand in front of my long mirror. Littered across my stomach are dark purple yellowish bruises, followed by my cuts. As I look at my reflection all I can see is the fat hanging over my boxers. The fat hanging off my face. Why can't I be perfect? Why do I have to be a weak pathetic omega? No one will ever love me. As I move my vision away from my disgusting body I bring the blade up to my thighs and make cut after cut. I don't even need a reason to do this anymore. I deserve all of this pain. I finally made my mum snap and hit me like she's always wanted too. As I just finished pulling my clothes on Daisy comes walking into my bedroom.

"Hey, bub, what you doing in here?" No matter how much I now hate my mother and father, I will always love my sisters. It's not their fault we've been stuck with such shit parents.

"Mummy said that tea was ready."

Right, of course, she wouldn't fucking bother to come up and check on me. Even though I moved away from her, I still expected her to come up after and at least check on me. But no of course not. Stupid Louis. I gently grab her right hand and entwine our fingers as we walk slowly down the stairs. As we reach the table and sit down, I avoid all eye contact with my so-called mother. I stare down at my food slowly pushing it around my plate, while my family talks happily across the table to each other.

"Louis, why aren't you eating?" My mum asks, making everyone stop their movements becoming quite.

"Lost my appetite." I murmur, no matter how upset I am with her, she's still my mother and I will always love her, even though she was a total bitch to me earlier.

My mum was about to respond but instead was interrupted by him.

"Have you put on weight boy? You've grown even chubbier since the last time I saw you." He chuckles darkly, as soon as those words left his mouth, I wanted to scream. I thought I was doing so well. I haven't eaten anything but an apple for three days. As the room settles in uncomfortable silence, I push my chair back and leave the table.

"Lou-"

"I'm going for a shower." I cut her off. I hear a commotion coming from the room I just left. Then the next thing I know I'm being shoved into the wall, by big strong hairy hands.

"You know you've become very rude and arrogant, since the last time I saw you. I think you've forgotten what it's like to be an obedient omega. But don't worry that will be fixed soon enough" He snarls into my ear. He swings his fist back and brings it back down into my ribs. I cry out in pain, but his large disgusting hand covers my mouth, muffling any noises that try to escape. I let the tears stream down my face as he throws me to the ground and leaves the hall like nothing happened. 

I stumble my way up the steps finding it hard to breathe. The pain in my side intensifying. I make my way into my bedroom and lock the door then head to my bathroom connected to my room. I lock the door again just in case. I don't need my innocent sisters walking in on me. I turn the shower on, blocking out any noises that I may make. 

I kneel down by the toilet and pull the lid up, quickly shoving two fingers down my throat. I shove them down harder until I feel the familiar churning in my stomach making me pull my fingers out just in time for my stomachs contents to fill the toilet. I shakily move my hand to flush the evidence of my misery and pain away. I bring my knees up to my chest and weep into them. 

Why do I have to be so fucked up? Why am I such a freak? Why can't I be obedient and submissive like all other omegas? Why do I have to be different? I grab my blade and lift up my shirt. I slash my stomach, in one long cut, deciding I've already cut enough today. I grab ahold of the sink to pull me up. 

I look in the mirror while I clean my teeth. This isn't who I used to be. I used to be full of life. I used to be loud and cheeky, which is unusual for an omega. I used to have bright eyes, always shining, full of life. But now, they just look dull. I wonder if anyone will actually miss me if I die? 

I shuffle my way towards my bed as the rooms start to spin. Black spots starting to form in my vision. This is a familiar feeling, was the last thing I thought before I passed out, still fully dressed.