Wordsmith Tavern [Closed]

S11 | I Found You

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Author: CalysLee
Critic: Aphrodisia_11

| BOOK COVER

- The book cover is good and it speaks of romance dahil doon sa couple na nandoon. It's like a pocket book. Iyong mga napupublish na may lovebirds na green ang logo? I see no problem in it so it's a thumbs up, Author.

| TITLE

- At first, wala itong dating sa akin, pero noong nabasa ko ang blurb mo ay bigla na lang nagkaroon ng spark of curiosity dahil na rin sa naiwan mong question sa dulo. It doesn't ring a bell at first pero kakaiba ang title mo which is good, Author. Keep it up.

| BLURB

- The blurb is a big thumbs up. Habang binabasa ko siya ay lalo akong na-cu-curious sa mga susunod na mangyayari. Especially the last paragraph. It's connected to the title and it suddenly took place like a missing puzzle piece was found. Kahit ako ay naenganyong magbasa kaya good job, Author!

| PROLOGUE

- All I wanna say is ang ganda ng prologue mo. You're not confused between prologue and synopsis. I can feel the campus vibes na hindi siya cliché, but it actually felt like a real campus which is a big thumbs up. While reading the prologue, napansin kona marami po tayong telling, pero hindi nagging hadlang iyon para hindi ma-eenjoy ang story. It was actually enjoyable, but focus on body language more dahil marami pong telling. But overall, it made me curious. Lalo na kay Chase. I was like: "Ano ba ang mangyayari? Luh, Chase, sino ka ba talaga? (Akin na lang XD char)" So good job dahil enjoyable and nagbigay ng information about the story.

| PLOT

- To be honest, it's not your typical plot e lalo na sa romance. Sa romance kasi ang dami ng cliché scenes, pero itong sa 'yo, wala e, fresh lahat (well at times not pero bihira lang iyon). And what amazed me is your way of telling the story. Kakaiba siya. Not chronological and not a throwback which can be usually seen in books. What you did was a big thumbs up dahil hindi siya nakasentro sa isa o dalawang tao lamang ngunit sa ibang tauhan din.

Minsan lang ay sumosobra ang highlight sa side characters na hindi masiyadong maganda. Highlight the side characters and the readers might care more about them than your main character. Also, one problem that affected my judgement of the story was because of the blurb. Ang sabi kasi roon, si Chase ay biglang nawala which means ipakikita rito ay ang buhay ni Aena without Chase.

I think ang blurb ang may problema at hindi ang way of telling mo. Please fix it dahil magkakaroon ng confusion sa loob ng plot. Also, dahil dito ay naapektuhan nang kaunti ang title para sa akin. "I Found You" and mix it with the blurb you get this tago-taguan factor. Parang si Chase ay nawawala at si Aena ang hahanap sa kaniya muli? Nagkakaroon ng confusion e, pero habang tumatagal may narealize rin ako.

The phrase: I found you can be flexible (lmao, this is my favorite part). Parang sinasabi na Aena found Chase, and Chase found Aena. Such a beautiful message for me. Matagal na silang magkasama at marami na silang pinagdaanan, at sa gitna ng mga problemang pinagdaanan nila sa story ay nahanap nila ang isa't isa. Ganiyan ang dating niya sa akin at bigla na lang akong napangiti.

For readers who expected na chronological order ang gagawin mo, they might be disappointed dahil baka iyon ang pinunta nila, like me. Ganoon ang expectations ko. Pero alam mo, hindi ako na-disappoint ih. Sa way of telling mo nagkaroon ako ng ibang idea ng I Found You and it was beautiful.

| WRITING STYLE / NARRATION

- Maayos naman ang narration mo at napapansin kong smooth ito. Habang nagbabasa ako ay nararamdaman ko ang mood ng settings which is good. However, medyo marami ho tayong telling imbis na showing. Try nating ang sobrang dissected na showing and telling.