"Stop licking that rock!"

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by NekaniNinja

by NekaniNinja

Westly: hey Bluu look what i found outside!!
Bluu: it better not be another frog
Westly, with his hands clasped together:

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Red: here, you want some weed?
Deai: I do not have lungs so I cannot smoke weed, but I will take it anyway and put it directly into my braincells.
[Downloading weed.exe]

Deai: ...HOLY SHIIIIIIIT. Wow.
Red: hows it feel? You enjoyin it?
Deai: .........what planet am I on
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Red: Do you ever see something that changes your life an it makes you stop and go "huh".
Coraline: Yes, after all I saw you . . .
Red: That's so gay and sweet and it makes this really awkward because I was going to show you a photo of the Destructive Electrical Artificial Intelligence getting high.

--
Nekora : Okay, it's 9:01. Camile's officially late for the first time ever. Any theories?
Loki : His alarm didn't go off.
Nekora : All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously.
Nix : Oh! He was taken in his sleep.
Nekora : That's what I'm talking about, Nix - super dark, but way more plausible than Loki's idiotic alarm theory.
M : I bet he tucked himself in too tight and got stuck.
--
Owynn: I googled 'I hate Nekora' and got over a thousand results.
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Lexi: You hear that?
Alexis: I hear YOU. And I wish I didn't.

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Nix: Where's Loki?
M: I don't know. She left.
Nix: What? Why?
M: We were watching Spongebob, and she stood up and said "life is too short" and walked out.
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Annabelle: Coraline, where's DEAI?
Coraline: She's in a better place.
Annabelle: Oh no...
DEAI, coming out from behind Coraline in a updated android body: OH YES.
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Yakuza: From one to ten how much it hurts?
Wither: Pi Greek.
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Cindy-Ray: Why hasn't anyone killed you yet?
Camile: Dumb luck. In that I'm lucky you're all so dumb.
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Teacher: Lorraine said a swear word in class.
Karl: I'll talk to her about it.
Karl, to Lorraine: What the fuck, kidders.
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M: Okay, does anyone else find it strange that Dove makes chocolate and body soap?
Camile: I mean, Magnum makes condoms and popsicles.
Blacky: Bic makes lighters and school supplies.
Loki: Yamaha makes motorbikes and pianos.
Nix: I make you sad and sexually frustrated.
--
Coraline: Red is out of control.
Annabelle: Why?
Red, running into the room: GUYS I JUST TOLD DEAI WHAT PORNHUB IS-
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Camile: Literally no one here is okay. This includes me. I'm not fine. I am very full of anxiety. Please help me.
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Owynn: You don't have to be a detective to know that you're a piece of shit.
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Lexi: Oh, we are WELL past the point of discovering I'm an asshole. You don't get to be surprised.
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Red: I really wanted dessert, but I didn't have anything in the house... so I just went downstairs and ate an entire jar of sprinkles. Do you think I'll die??
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Loki: *in the background, chanted without emotion* What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuc-
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Bluu: I am very frightened and would like to go home, and also a pinata. I have been good and I deserve one. That is all. Thank you for your time.
--
Westly: Hey, y'all! I know it's not cool to follow rules in this wasteland God has abandoned, but I must inform you that the laws of physics do still remain in place the next time you decide to attempt to throw an entire loaf of bread onto the balcony.
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Alisia: I am not usually an angry person... but you, sir, fill me with an absolutely ungodly amount of rage.
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Nitsoku: Told a girl on Bumble that she looked like this one cat girl in an anime... no response so far, but I'll keep you posted.
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Nekora: I'm neither smart or hard-working enough to be getting an A in this class, but I am an incredibly good liar.
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Celine: Can whoever is singing Taylor Swift's "Haunted" in the basement this loudly at 2 A.M. learn to hit the notes? I don't care about the noise, but girl, you ain't doing this song justice.
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Wither: Oh, come on! Do I look like the kind of person who people are going to care about if they died during this?
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Alexis: The stars said we're either going to get to stay for another six weeks or we'll be going home tomorrow... so... I'm honestly more confused than when I started.
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Annabelle: I'm just going to stay in the library with my book and hope I die there!
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Nix: *while clapping* Say it with me! Pretty! Girls! Can! Commit! Arson!!
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Coraline: *holding a knife* If you don't stop being stupid, this is going to stop being called "the kitchen" and start being called "the place they found that dude's body one time".
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Dhiren: (Keeps annoying Richie)
RIchie: Get ready for the announcement, because a body's about to be discovered.
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M: yeah, Nix is pretty weird. like, yesterday she bought a 50 pack of kazoos and left them all over my floor with little sharpie hearts drawn all over them.
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Coraline: once Red put an entire franchise out of business because one of the workers "looked at me funny". she was just going to sneeze.
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Alexis, eye twitching: Lexi keeps flooding the basement. theres no sink or anything down there I DONT KNOW HOW SHE'S DOING IT
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Richie: ill never forget that time i was at a good friends house for dinner when she came out to her parents and her mom was like "what made you realize?" and she looked her mother dead in the eyes and went "titties" and i started laughing so hard i couldnt breathe and started choking on air
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Nix: Transgenderism is lit. I vote to normalize it. If my friend wants boobs, bounce bounce am I right? If they don't, well then thats cool too!
(I'm sorry a friend of mine said this and I found it too funny to not include it)
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M: It doesn't matter how I die, as long as it's painful and confuses as many people as possible.
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you read this far, thanks