"Dont Half-Ass Two Things, Whole-ass One Thing" [|Random Book 1|]

"Darling"

Layne: Loki, you know you look beautiful today, right?
Loki: Uh... No?
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Layne: gays, lend me your strength
Camile: I shall give you my soul, and you shall be the most powerful gay to ever gay
Layne: thank you so much. Lesbians, lend me your strength
Alisia: I give you my heart, so you can have all the power of lesbians and be even more gay than before
Layne: I am forever in your debt. Aces, lend me your strength
Alexis: I give you my essence, so that why you possess the power of gay as well as having not one, but many aces of power up your sleeve
Layne: I owe you my life. Transgender and nonbinary folk, lend me your strength
Cindy-Ray: I give you my titties cause I don't fucking want them
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Lucian: Layne, I raised you better than this!
Layne: Did you really though?
Lucian: ...maybe. But seriously, even I know that mixing MNM's and Skittles is wrong.
--
Willow: Chris, should I get you a step-stool so that you can look in my eyes when you lecture me?
--

--

Ivy: Why are you on the floor?

Layla: I'm feeling really sad right now.

Ivy:
Layla: Also, I've been stabbed, can you call an ambulance?

--

Chris: Being a guy in love with a guy is not always cute or romantic or soft or tender. Sometimes it's pushing your boyfriend's face away yelling because you have viral bronchitis and he keeps trying to kiss you knowing this because he's a himbo with no sense of self preservation.
Chris: Update! Jay got bronchitis. You'll never guess how.
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Loki: Layne's cute, I kinda want to ask her out.

Niratap, thinking about how while drunk, Layne was standing on a table last night yelling about how snakes are just helpless lizards with no arms: Good, because I'm positive no one else does.
-

-

Julia: ugh my arms are so fucking sore

Dani: baby chain

Dani: hey sorry i know its been an hour but earlier i meant to type "that sucks" but i saw a string of kindergarteners on the street holding onto a rope to stay together as i typed but right now i'm more conceshoe. with the fact that you didnt feel the need to ask me for clarification?

Julia: baby chain :)

--
Kidnapper: I have your daughter.
M: I don't have a daughter?
Kidnapper: Then... who's watching adventure time and eating lucky charms in my basement?
M: Oh my god, you have Nix.
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Blacky: Okay, so you're driving along and you see Camile and Owynn walk out into the road right in front of your car. What do you hit?
Nekora: Oh, Owynn. I could never hit Camile.
Blacky, horrified: The brakes, Nekora. You hit the brakes
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