The One I've Waited For (Larry stylinson)

Chapter 18

Shit.

complete and utter shit is what I feel like right now.

Even though Louis promised twice that he won't leave me I still hadn't heard from him for the past few days. He even ignores me at school. which hurts. Alot.

You know it sucks. Being ignored by the one person you love and you need teh most in the world right now. Seeing him everyday is like a stab in my heart.

My smile has fadded away. I don't think i'll be happy again until at least Louis comes to terms of talking to me.

However everyone else are doing great. Zayn and Sarah are still going strongly together. Nothing can separate them from each other. Noura and Cole still have this thing going. The rest are still very happy and actually became friends with those 4 Aussies. They now sit with us at our lunch table. Everyone are great friends and then there is me sitting alone eyes red and glossy for unshed tears that so desperately wanna be shed. But I won't let them, not in front of people.

I hear them whispering about me. They think i'm too lost in my thoughts because i'm staring in the distance. But no my mind and sences are completly here.

"Is he always like this?" an Australian accent asked.

"No, I don't know what happened to him. But he just disappeared for 3 weeks and when he returned he was like this" I heard Sarah whispered and then she sighs "I want my best friend back" she sobs. My heart-ached for the girl she doesn't deserve me. All I do is make people miserable.

And Louis is prime example of that. His shinny beautiful blue eyes, Aren't as shining as always. Instead they are a dull grey color. And everything else is just not the same about him.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly and then get up and rush from the cafeteria with tears streaming down my face.

I hear someone calling out my name but I just run faster until 'i get to my car and start driving. I almost crash into a light pul bacuse the tears are bluring my vision , but luckily I hit the breaks in time to stop the car. As soon as it stops I just sob and hit my head on the steering wheel.

"WHY DO I ALWAYS FUCK THINGS UP?" I yell to no one "Why am I not good enough?" I whisper.

After a while of screaming,crying, and abusing my car. I finally regain control and go home.

As soon as I hit my pillow my thoughts go in overdrive. I hate this. I hate my life.

I wonder if I died will it be peaceful at last? Don't think like that you idiot you have a kid now! Yes and this kid is the #1 reason why I'm thinking like this. Have you ever considered seeing this child that is yours? Thinking about it. No I haven't seen him yet.

I may as well see him. He is mine after all. and i'm not gonna let him grow up without a dad. Questioning why he wasn't there for him.

With that in mind I pulled my ohone out and texted Caroline on twitter seeing as I don't have her number and that's the only way to talk to her.

to @Caroline_KF

Send my your address i'm coming to see him.

with that I got up and got in the shower to try and sooth my aching heart. and numb the pain. Even though i'm sure nothing will help.

Afer exactly and hour and 45 minutes just standing there I satrted washing myself and I was done in 10 minutes.

I got out with a towel wrapped around my waist and another one in my hand drying my hair.

I went straight to my phone checking the notification. I got a reply from Caroline telling me her address.

I quickly got dressed grabbed my phone and wallet and left.