Keep On Fighting

Sacrifice

Days we've been starving. The pizza shop a block away, only throws out expired food and the grocery stores are too far away to just walk.

All of us  tried to eat the molded food, but that didn't go so well. As soon we took the smallest bite out of it we threw up, that was how bad it was. I have no money to go buy any food, diapers, or wipes.

The three of us have continued to beg for any money we could get. 1.00 dollar  is all I need at the moment, enough to make us not dehydrated.

I have prayed for the tiniest bit of mercy. The tiniest bit of hope to get out of this situation that's falling apart. Staying positive, has never been harder. Luka has cried everyday to go back to the place he still calls home, our grandfather's house.

I'm grateful that we were kicked out of our home during the summer time because I don't think we would last if it was any other season.

And, everyday it gets harder and harder to explain that we don't have a home. That we don't have a nice shelter to live under and that we don't have a place where we can have a nice meal.

Days have gone past where nothing has changed. The same old questions have been told and the same responses have been said. It has been a never ending cycle from either people ignoring us to  apologizing that they don't have money.

I have never been so ashamed in my life due to the position that I've put us in. Growing up, I would always think that being homeless was fake. That people only begged for money for drugs or other horrible things.

That's what I was told by my aunts, uncles, and other relatives. They've always told me to be cautious around homeless people because they could have bad intentions with your money.

So, I would always think that seeing a person begging for money, was them lying. That they only wanted money to buy things they couldn't afford. I never deeply thought that they asked for money so they could buy themselves a meal.

I never thought about adults or children going to sleep hungry because I've always gone to bed with a stomach full of food.

My parents didn't talk about children less fortunate than us. I understood that not everyone had a perfect life but I never thought that someone lived a terrible life. 

Now, I know that being homeless is real, that people ask for money so they can eat and not starve. They don't just ask for money to use for drugs, cars, or purses.

"Please, can you give us money?" I begged. Sophie, Luka, and I stood on the rough sidewalk, begging for money.

"I'm sorry, ma'am but I forgot my money at home," the gentleman explained. I nodded, having nothing else to say. I've heard the same lines from almost every person I asked.

The man walked off and disappeared. I looked around watching cars drive by with no care in the world. Not a single person stopped by and not a single person walked past.

We stood there waiting to ask another person if they have any money to share. Meanwhile; no one came past.

"Can you dig in the trash?" Luka wondered. I thought about it before responding.

"I guess," I replied. We most likely will not find any good food but I'm desperate for anything. All of us walked half a block to the pizza shop.

I dug through the dumpster finding only really burnt pizza and rotten food, so bad you can see bugs all over it, until I found one good pepperoni. There was a thing of dough but flies covered it and it smelled disgusting!

"Here's a pepperoni!" I shouted. I jumped down and ripped the pepperoni in half. It was uneven so I gave the smaller piece to Luka and the bigger piece to Sophie. 

"Hey! I want the bigger piece!" Luka yelled. 

"No, Sophie you can have it," I clarified. Sophie started to eat her half of the pepperoni.

"What?" Luka questioned.

"Sophie's the youngest so she gets it," I justified.

"Why, but I'm hungry!" Luka whined. 

"So, is Sophie."

"That's not fair!" Luka cried.

"We have to make sacrifices. I've made plenty now it's your turn," I explained. Having to make Luka starve for the better of Sophie, pained me. 

"I hate you! I want to go to grandpa's house!" Luka shouted.

"You don't mean that!" I yelled.

"I hate you. I wish you were never my sister!"

My blood began to boil. After everything I've done to protect and to care for Luka he says this! I have raised him, I've taken care of him.

"I've done everything for you! I've gone hungry so you could eat and this is what you say!" I screamed.

I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to calm down.

"He didn't mean it," I whispered to myself. I took deep breaths in and out. I slowly opened my eyes to see Luka walking onto the road. A huge truck was about to hit him!

I ran over to him and grabbed him. I ran with him in my arms onto the sidewalk, the purple truck drove past.

"Don't you ever walk onto the road by yourself! You could have gotten hit by that truck!" I explained.

"I'm sorry," Luka apologized.

"It's fine but you could have gotten really hurt," I answered.

"No, I'm sorry for saying I hated you," Luka justified. I gave him a huge hug with him in my arms. I kissed his head.

"I love you, buddy." I will always love you!