Keep On Fighting

The Hard Truth

The other day, Luka told me he hated me. It made me furious at first; however later on I felt upset. My world would shatter if Sophie or Luka hated me.

Although I did everything for them, I wouldn't change a single thing. Everyday, when I see Luka's handsome smile or hear Sophie's laugh it makes all the anger, pain, and stress vanish even if it's for only a second.

It's a lazy day, today. I'm exhausted from asking others for help when not a single person will. My body smells of garbage, Sophie's hair is knotty, and Luka needs a shower.

I can't tolerate digging through the dumpster anymore. Meanwhile, I'm sitting down scratching Luka's scalp while Sophie's taking her afternoon nap.

My eyes were closed as I was trapped in my own thoughts.

"It's Christmas!" I shouted.

It was Christmas morning, probably 6:30 am.

My mom, dad, Luka, and I lived in a small tan house.

Luka, and I woke up that morning and ran straight down the hall, to my parents bedroom.

First, my father woke up before waking our mother up.

We all walked down the hall into the living room, where our fake Christmas tree was placed.

Tons of presents lied under the dark green tree.

I heard my two parents whispering to one another; however I couldn't hear what they were saying to each other.

"Hey, kiddos before you open your presents, your dad and I need to tell you something," our mother explained.

"Okay," Luka and I said with our tiny voices.

"Mommy's going to have a baby," dad announced.

My face glowed with excitement!

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yes, you guys are going to have a little brother or sister," mom clarified.

"Yes!" I shouted. I jogged over to my mom and gave her a huge hug.

Luka, walked over and also gave mom a hug.

That was one of the happiest days of my life. I've always loved having a brother and I really wanted another sibling.

Still to this day I can remember when my parents told me I would be a big sister to Luka and I can still remember when both my siblings were born. For me, it's one of those memories that I'll never forget.

Having these memories does make me upset and sad. Deep down, I know I probably will never see my parents again. If only they would know the state that we're in right now, the both of them would probably feel terrible.

Meanwhile, Luka, Sophie, and I are stuck outside to sleep, eat, and live on the concrete. On some occasions I will find myself wondering where my parents are and what they are doing. I catch myself wishing I could lay in their arms.

I will sometimes dream of getting to say 'I love you' again to them. Getting to talk about how my day was at school and getting to watch movies as a family.

However; I understand that if my parents cared enough they would have taken us from our grandfather a while ago and raised Sophie, Luka, and myself.

So, when I get out of my thoughts and realize what I was thinking, I'll tell myself that we are on our own. That our Grandpa Elian, our mother, and our father don't care about us anymore.