Keep On Fighting

I'll Think About It

"Give me two more days to spend time with you and dad," I declared. My mother nodded as we got up and went downstairs. I sat on the living room couch beside my dad. Iris looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Ummm, Gabby I want you to know that it's your choice in this situation," Iris justified. I smiled as I nodded.

"I'll think about it," I explained. My dad rubbed my shoulder as Iris smiled at me. Everyone else was gone, Carter worked night shift and all the kids went to a birthday party.

Iris, gave me alone time with my parents. That asked how school was and I said it was good. I lied obviously, as I didn't want my parents to know the real truth.

"So, have you grown attachments with this family?" my mother asked.

"Y-yeah, why?" I answered with my own question.

"I'm just trying to get to know your new life now," my mother informed. I was confused by her statement; however I ignored it.

Dad squeezed my shoulder. I looked at him as he smiled. "Are you going to come home with us?"

"Dad, I said I would think about it. I just don't know what I want to do or what is best for me," I defined. I know what I'm saying is hurting my father but I just hope he understands where I'm coming from.

What if when we go back they just kick us out again? I can't go through that heartbreak again but I guess if I were to expect it to happen then it wouldn't hurt as bad, right? I don't want to get too comfortable with my parents and they just get rid of us like they did once.

"Oh, okay I- I understand," dad answered.

"Ummm, where do you guys live?" I wondered, changing the subject.

"We live in a different town," mom described, "In a pretty big house, you'd have your own bathroom, if you do decide to live with your parents."

The way my mother defined the word "parents" made me feel guilty. Guilty, for not instantly choosing my parents. They were the ones who gave birth to me, the ones who put me into this world.

My parents are the people who gave me this life that I live in everyday. What if Luka and Sophie choose our parents and I don't? I cannot live without my siblings! I honestly need them!

Without my siblings I feel alone, empty. They are my world and if they were to leave me behind I don't know if I'd be able to deal with it.

I nodded to my mother's describtion and faked a smile. For the rest of the evening I answered my mother and father's questions. The both of them left just before we would have to pick up my siblings and Iris' kids.

A++fter, the door shut and they were gone my entire body relaxed. I closed my eyes as I focused on my breathing.

"Is everything okay?" Iris questioned, worriedly. I opened my eyes as I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I explained.

"I know this is a lot for you. I understand that this is a tough decision but I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you may need. If your aren't ready to move in with your parents or if you are-" Iris took a deep breathe, "Just know that whatever you choose is up to you."

"What if my parents just abandon us again?" I asked.

"How do you know your parents won't do that?"

I thought about the question Iris asked. She's right, I won't know what will happen with my parents if I don't try to form a relationship with them. I mean this family that we're staying with is probably tired of having to deal with us, right?

..........................................................

IRIS' POV

I tucked all the kids to bed. Carter is still at work and I really need him. I don't know how to feel about Gabby, Luka, and Sophie's parents coming here.

In one way, I understand that they have to leave eventually. That the three of them aren't my children and are instead theirs; meanwhile in another way I don't get it! Why now just show up, right when we all get close?

What bothers me the most is how angry I got when I heard Gabby's mother say she loves her. In my eyes, if you love someone you don't just leave them to defend on their own.

Especially, if your oldest is only fifteen and your other kids are under the age of six! Gabby should have never had to raise her younger siblings, when her parents were perfectly eligible to raise them.

Now, I haven't found out the whole story of these children's lives. I haven't learned the reason that Katrina and Tony left their children but whatever the reason is, they should have never not stayed in contact with their children!

Carter told me time and time again to not get too close with Gabby, Luka, and Sophie; however I couldn't stop myself. I'm now attached to the three of them and the thought of leaving them makes me feel upset.

When I think about leaving them, I feel as if I'm abandoning Luka, Sophie and Gabby. What if they feel the same way? As if I don't care for all three of the kids. That's not my attention and that has never been my attention.

All I've wanted to do was help and protect Sophie, Luka, and Gabby. I could never do what their parents did with them to my own kids, even if they were older.

I just want all of them to be happy. For Luka and Gabby to choose what they feel comfortable with. Sophie, on the other hand is a toddler, she has no idea what's going on.

At the end, if they choose to be with their parents, then I'll just have to deal with it. It's up to them to decide where they leave and I can't think otherwise.