Keep On Fighting

First Official Visitation

Nolan and Luka now share a bedroom. Nolan's bed is on the left side of the room and Luka's bed is to the right. Nolan and Luka both decided to have a Toy Story themed bedroom. Nolan had Woody on his blanket and Luka had Buzz Lightyear.

On the ceiling were green and blue stars that glow at night. In the middle of the room was a small train track. On one of the blue painted walls, was a toy box filled with all different kinds of toys.

Today is Saturday, our first official visitation with our dad. I'm really happy that my father accepted to continue the adoption process. It just made the entire thing so much easier and it made me realize how supportive my father really is.

He has always done what made us happy; however seeing him make such a big decision, knowing how hard it must be on him, makes me so thankful to have a parent like him.

My dad should be here in around half an hour so I have time to spare on doing other things. Spend time with my soon yet so far away, new siblings.

I walked around, trying to find Alena and Leanna. By the time I found them I only had twenty minutes to do whatever. I questioned what we should do. All of us together, chose to play Barbie dolls.

Playing Barbies reminded me of my childhood. How I would play with dolls after school with my mom. At the time I enjoyed those times, now it's just another sad memory. I will probably never see my mother again.

I'm not sure whether or not I'm sad, angry, or okay with not ever seeing her again. I understand I'll miss her at times; however will I be fine with that thought?

"What's wrong, Gabby?" Leanna asked. I got taken out of my thoughts and replaced back into the world.

"I'm fine," I answered, when in fact I wasn't sure whether or not I truly was.

We continued to play dolls. It honestly was super fun, going back to something I use to do every other day. I don't hate the memories; meanwhile at the same time I do. I'll never be able to get over my past if I keep having all these memories.

"Gabby, your... your dad's here," Iris announced with a small smile.

"Okay, thank you," I said, sitting the dolls down inside the doll house. I got up and ran downstairs, seeing my dad waiting for me on the couch. I slowly walked over to him.

"Hi princess."

"Hey, dad," I responded. My father hesitated but gave me a hug anyways. I hugged him back tightly until Iris came and interrupted us.

"I'm taking the kids outside so you, Luka, and Sophie can have alone time with your dad. If you need me, just let me know," Iris informed. My father and I both pulled away from the hug.

After me giving Iris a smile and a nod, Iris and her children left to go outside, leaving me alone with my dad and my siblings.

"So, w-what do you guys want to do?" dad asked, looking at Sophie, Luka, and I.

"It's up to you," I explained.

"I brought puzzles," dad stated.

"Dad, what about Sophie? She can't do puzzles," I clarified.

"Oh, umm yeah well we can play tic tac toe," my father justified.

"She doesn't know how to draw shapes," I elucidated, "Lets just watch a movie."

"O-okay, that's fine," my dad replied, giving me a small smile. All of us sat on the black couch and turned the TV on.

We went onto Netflix and scrolled through the kids section of movies. At the end, we all decided to watch the movie Pets 2.

I felt bad for denying all my dad's ideas; however I couldn't do something with him and Luka, without Sophie. I couldn't help but think my father thought I was being rude to him when I kept telling his ideas no.

There in the back of my mind, I knew my father understood where I was coming from. Meanwhile; I couldn't erase the thought from my mind.

I truly tried my hardest to pay attention to what was going on with the screen. My thoughts made it hard though and I couldn't focus on anything else.

During half of the movie I couldn't focus and during the other half I had no idea what was going on. I enjoyed the graphics and thought the idea of the movie was interesting; however I didn't understand the point of it, probably because I was spaced out.

"It's time for your dad to leave," Iris notified. My dad shut the TV off and got off the couch. I stood up with him, giving him a hug goodbye. My dad gave my siblings a hug before leaving. We didn't get to finish the movie; however I don't really mind.