𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐓 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 | 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳

{28} After Always [REQUEST]

Requested by @nor_thach

She didn't regret it, not once...
Not when she was put in the Pit.
Not when she was banished.
Not when Newt did nothing but watch.

No, she didn't regret beating that vile boy into a bloody pulp for grabbing her ass. Connor didn't expect it- the shocked expression behind his black eye attested to that- but even if he did, it wouldn't have helped; She didn't know how, but fighting just came naturally to her. She was able to knock that pig on his ass in 3 hits and knock him out cold in 5.

Not that she stopped then. No, something inside her must have snapped- it took Newt and Minho physically dragging her off the boy's bleeding and broken body to get her to stop.
Even then, she was screaming like a ferocious jaguar- roaring to hit him, kick him, kill him.

Newt didn't speak to her much after that. He was walking beside her when it happened, his hand in hers and a smile on his beautiful face.
After it happened, watching her struggling form being dragged to the Pit, he stayed silent and shocked, mouth agape at witnessing what she was capable of when pushed.

When he came to her in the night, he barely said anything.
"Newt?" She whispered, "Newt, is that you?"

In the milky moonlight she managed to catch the slight nod of his chin.
After a pregnant pause, she spoke brokenly with her hands shaking and her knees to her chest. The wooden bars in the cage allowed strips of light to flood in.
"I-" her voice cracked, "I don't know what happened to me. I couldn't stop, Newt. I saw what I was doing to him, I knew that I was going too far, but I didn't care. All I could think was 'not again'. It was like some sort of buried memory, like something I had hidden  to protect myself. I... I think something bad happened to me, before this- this mess. And I think I'm remembering it."

Eventually she looked up at him with glistening eyes, "I can't remember any faces, nothing like that, no names or anything. All I can remember is the hands everywhere, in... in places I didn't want them. Newt, what the hell happened to me?"

She was openly weeping now, a broken husk of the bright and shining soul she used to be.
Hollow at hearing no reply- no words of comfort or sympathy from her own boyfriend, the man who claimed to love her- Y/N looked up.

His looming silhouette stood stiff against the tar night, his narrow shoulders rigidly tense.
"Connor's dead. They're voting on what to do tomorrow morning."

His voice was cold, a foreign tone to Y/N.
Her lips parted in surprise but all that came out was a gentle gasp.
After he spoke his part, he turned around and walked away from her, each thudding step like the sound of a hammer nailing her coffin closed.

She didn't hear him say anything else until the next day, when the last word she would hear him say wouldn't even be directed at her.
Unable to look her in the eye, all he said was a terse, "Now," directed at the other Gladers as they banished her to the Maze.

8 months later and she was thriving.
The sense of purpose and comradeship in the Right Arm gave her hope, and Sonya, Harriet and the other Maze B girls gave her the friends she always wanted.

She was one of the best brawlers they had, as well as the sharpest shot.
Vince said he didn't want to know what she did before all this, but it wasn't like she could even remember, so Y/N learned to move on with her life.

The first days after her banishment had been the lowest moments of her life; finding a strength and agility she didn't know she possessed, she spent 2 days precariously climbing and leaping along the top edges of the Maze until she came to the outer rim. By then, she had been without food and water for 2 days, but it would be another 2 spent wandering in the empty desert before a scouting group for the Right Arm would find her.

They rescued her from that purgatory, fed and clothed her. Gave her shelter and a family, as well as weapons to protected herself and training on how to use them.

For a month, her anger at the Gladers and Newt consumed her, bitter hatred permanently bubbling under the surface and isolating her from her friends.
It took Y/N knocking Sonya to the floor repeatedly in a sparring match for Sonya to knock some sense into her.

With some wise advice about finding herself without anyone else, and forgiving the sins of the past, Y/N moved on.
But she still cared for Newt, in a way, she always would...

Which is why, when they showed up, Y/N didn't know how to approach them. Which was okay, because apparently they had accumulated a couple of Greenies after she left.

A boy called Thomas was the first to approach her, but Minho and Frypan soon followed, both rambling out apologies and relief at finding her.
Not saying anything, Y/N smiled and nodded gently before pulling them into a light and quick hug.
"It's okay. I forgive you."

Shock adorned their faces when they heard this, but she didn't focus on that for too long.
No, instead, she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. Moving past them, she stopped in front of him.

"Hi Newt."

"Y/N." He breathed.

Mary and Vince came and took the others to show them around, leaving just Y/N and her ex-boyfriend standing 3 feet apart in a whispering desert.
"It's really you?" He sounded scared, but of what Y/N didn't know.

"Yes." She nodded, not smiling yet not rude.

"You're alive...? You- you're alive." At this, he dashed for her, throwing his arms around her, and cradling her head into his neck.

Engulfed in his arms, Y/N could barely move. Laughing slightly to alleviate the tension, she spoke from where she was tucked tight into his chest, "Hi."

His breathing sounded choked, and Y/N could hear his emotion as he spoke.
"I am so sorry for what happened- for what I did. I have no excuses, nothing to pardon what I did. I should have stood by your side, I should have protected you. God, Y/N, I am so sorry."

Pulling away from his arms, she wiped away his tears gently, his pupils unable to gaze at her own.
"It's okay, it's okay Newt. I forgive you."

Using her index finger to push his chin up, she dusted a light kiss on his cheek to get his attention before repeating "I forgive you."

He stayed silent, frozen to the ground and as stoic as an ancient oak tree before he moved. Darting like a viper, he caught her soft lips in a passionate kiss.

Y/N's eyes simply widened as her mind went blank. Finally regaining her sense, she pushed at his chest and arms, disconnecting his lips from hers.

Scrunching her eyebrows up in confusion, she waited for him to talk first.

His face held so much raw emotion, Y/N was worried he might explode soon.
"Y/N... Please, I still love you. I'm still in love with you. Can we..." he didn't seem to know how to finish that request, simply resigning to letting his kiss talk for itself, "Please?"

Staring at him, Y/N almost didn't want to reply. As soon as she spoke, it was over.
But she needed to say it, and he needed to hear it...

"I'm sorry, Newt. But I don't love you. I can't. Not anymore."

A/N:
Hi!
Thanks for the request @nor_thach! I hope you enjoyed it!
Have a great week, and if anyone else has any requests, feel free to pm me!
Xx