I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. I keep my eyes closed, smacking my phone on the night stand to try to make the sound go away. My head hurt and My eyes watered as they opened. My sleep was fitful. I kept thinking of Camille and Harry. Did our kiss mean anything to him with his break up so close? I know that nothing else happened last night besides just that one kiss. I sign grabbing my phone to check it. One text from Jenna along with some instagram notifications.
From Jenna: Yeah of course hun, let's get breakfast at 8. We can go to Lily's
I look at the time, my phone read 7:15. I guess I had been thinking for longer than I expected. Lily's was a cute little cafe that specialized in crepes. It was one of my favorite places to go and Jenna knew that. She probably felt that this was urgent since I texted her so late.
To Jenna: Okay sounds good. See you soon.
I get up and make my bed, fluffing some pillows and folding some blankets. I turn to crack my back and stretch a bit before walking over to the couch and folding up the blanket from yesterday. Harry's scent wafted from the blanket and I maneuvered the sides to become a draped rectangle towards the back of my couch. I walk to the kitchen and grab myself a cup of water, practically chugging it out of desperation. The headache wasn't awful, but it was one of the annoying small ones that you get from lack of sleep or dehydration. I open the cabinet and take out a bottle of Advil, putting two in my mouth and finishing my water with them. I then head into the bathroom to get ready for the day, hoping that my headache would subside before I walked out of the door. I add a bit more makeup than I normally do to try and mask my sleepless night. More concealer for under the eyes, as well as some winged liner. I go out into the main room and grab a change of clothes. Today felt more casual, so I opted for a brown turtle neck sweater and my favorite white high waisted trousers. cinching them at my waist with a brow leather belt I had stolen from my mom when I was in high school.
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I make it to Lily's with two minutes to spare, knowing that Jenna was there because she was very punctual. I park and grab my purse before heading into the little cafe. There was a little bit of a coffee rush with it being prime time to grab a cup before running to the office, but the tables were mostly empty. Jenna waves me over, her long brown hair was down and she had on some nice jeans and a sweater. Her makeup was the same as always, eyebrows filled in, fake lashes that still looked pretty natural, and some light eyeshadow and contour. Jenna had already gotten us both our normal coffee orders and a waiter came over to take our orders once I sat down.
"I'll have the strawberries and cream crepe please" I say handing the waiter my menu and smiling graciously. She nods and writes down my order.
"I'll have the veggie crepe please." Jenna says and the waiter walks back to the counter. The nice about living in LA was that many people have dietary restrictions, so it wasn't as difficult going out to eat. "So what's on your mind?" Jenna's voice breaks through the hum of the cafe.
"Well Harry came over for dinner yesterday," I pause, looking at her facial reaction. Her eyebrows raise a little in surprise, but she stays silent waiting for me to continue. "We kissed but nothing else happened, that's besides the point though." Jenna nodded looking pensive. "Well I feel like you probably already knew at least some of this, but we were talking about his new album and his inspiration. I didn't know about Camille, but now I do and I just feel like maybe he doesn't really feel how I am. I mean he's using her as inspiration for a whole fucking album? And I'm over here just meeting him a month later, little miss naive. I just am so scared of getting hurt again. I don't want to go through what I did earlier this year." I felt a little bit of pain in the back of my throat and swallowed hard, trying to get rid of it. I think Jenna could hear the hurt in my voice because her eyes softened and her voice became quiet and motherly.
"Aw honey." She says, reaching across the table to take my hand. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing for a second, letting my lungs inflate and feeling them deflate again. I look back into Jenna's eyes. "I know it's scary when you get into things like this. Especially when they are sudden, but sometimes you find what you need when you aren't exactly looking. I think you just need to see what happens with Harry. Obviously, I hear his side of things too, and while I can't really tell you them because he's a client. Just know that the album isn't really about Camille, it's about him. He's on a journey of self discovery with this one. Just don't over think it right now, okay?" Her blue eyes scan my face and she smiles. "Besides, I think if he was using you for distraction he would've made a bigger move last night. I think that you should talk to him about taking things slow if you're really worried. If he was just using you to get over her, he wouldn't stick around to take things slow. Instant gratification is what works best when you try to distract yourself from feelings." I nod, Jenna's words make sense, but a small part of my still holds onto the doubts that flooded my mind tonight. I did feel a bit better though because she had some valid points.
"Is it weird that I'm already into him? I've only known him for two weeks."
Jenna let out a soft laugh, "I met Julien when he was bartending." She says shaking her head. "Within two weeks I had told my mom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I fell so hard, but look where we are now. Lanie, Cameron and the dogs. Everything just fell into place because we let it. Every couple has doubts and hardships, but it's what you choose to do about them that matters. Will you let the struggle strengthen your relationship or will it be the last struggle you encounter. You just need to know your limit and figure out your boundaries."
Breakfast was amazing as always, and before I knew it, it was time to get to the office. I was super happy that it was almost the weekend. I could relax a bit and have some time to chat with Mack and some of my other friends. Also maybe try to put out feelers for some sort of photography gig. The weekend was full of possibilities.
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okayy so double update for tonight. both of the chapters were a bit shorter, so i thought it might be better to do two tonight. i'm pretty tired now, but i'll see you soon! hope you enjoyed this :)
