Chapter 44

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Emma 

  After Dawood left, I came back to his bedroom instead of mine. I don't know why I did it, but the moment I lied on his bed and his smell hit me, I knew the reason. It was the first time after our marriage that an ocean separated us. Though we stayed in different rooms, we were around each other during the mornings and evenings. Dawood had told me he would inform the driver of their firm to pick up and drop me to the law school. 

  I picked a pillow and pulled it close to my chest, hugging it tightly, wishing it was Dawood instead of the pad. What had he done to me? It was not even an hour after he left, and I was already missing him, craving him. I couldn't forget how his mouth felt on me. I clenched my thighs, remembering his face buried between them. 

 We had been so close to consummating our marriage, and if not for his father's call, we might have done it. I had given myself to him willingly, and he would have claimed me. Were we moving too fast? From hating each other to nearly loving....

 My thought thrilled as well as terrified me equally. I knew I was falling for Dawood, it was just a matter of time before I would be head over heels in love with Dawood Ordimez, and I wondered how Dawood might react if I ever admitted it to him. Will Dawood ever love me? I was not sure what Dawood felt for me, but I had seen in his eyes the unknown emotion that flooded them whenever they settled on me. Was it love? Was I being paranoid? 

 Did Dawood even have a heart? Was he even capable of loving someone? I tossed and turned in his bed, inhaling his scent, trying to calm my body's desire for him. I had never wanted someone as I wanted Dawood. Not even Hamza. As I think about it, my feelings for Hamza were platonic compared to what I felt for Dawood. I did love him, but it was never as strong and intense as my feelings for Dawood. What I felt for Dawood was all-consuming, fiercer, and demanding, and so was Dawood. 

 He was not the kind of man who would be satisfied with crumbs. He wanted everything from me. He wanted to own and possess all parts of me, and I think he succeeded. Hamza felt like a distant memory, whereas Dawood, My God, I didn't even know how to describe what I felt for Dawood, just that every part of my body and soul burned for him.  

 There it was, the thing that I was terrified of admitting to myself. Dawood ruled my heart. He owned me, body and soul. Even after my resistance to him from the first day I met him, Dawood made his way into my heart despite his arrogance and assholeness. Even thinking about him aroused a need within me that I knew only he could fulfill. 

 My cell rang, and I picked it up from the nightstand. It was Dawood. A smile crept on my face realizing it was not only me who was missing him. I received the call and placed the cell on my ear. 

 "Hey," he said on the other side. 

 "Hey."

 "We are waiting for permission to take off. There is a little more traffic at this hour," Dawood informed. 

 "Any news from Istanbul?" I asked. 

 "Amca (paternal uncle) said Babaanne is doing well, her vitals are normal, and the pre-procedural tests performed on her came out normal," Dawood answered. 

 "Thank God. I am sure the surgery will go well, keep trust in Allah," I assured him. 

 "I regret leaving you there," he sighed, "Will it be weird if I say that I am missing you already?" 

  I was stunned for a second by his admission. When he said he would miss me before leaving, I felt Dawood was high on the intimacy we shared a few minutes ago and would return to normal once he left.

 "I am missing you too," It felt strange having that kind of cheesy conversation with Dawood. 

 "Don't you think this is too cheesy?" He laughed. 

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