Uncle Si's Daughter

Hospitals

~ Sky's POV ~

(That afternoon)

Harry has just walked out of my room, me telling him that I'll meet him downstairs soon. I quickly dash into the bathroom knowing that my face is all red and blotchy. I hate crying, I always have. It makes me feel like I'm weak and vulnerable and if I've learnt anything in my lifetime, it's that you can't show vulnerability. People use it against you, like they can smell it from a mile away. It makes you a victim and that's never a good thing.

As I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it all comes back to me. The words, the torment. Everything that I've ever been told is wrong with me.

"You're ugly"

"You're fat"

"You're worthless"

"You don't deserve to live"

"You should kill yourself"

All it took was one memory, one look at my own appearance to break down. Maybe they were right, maybe I am all those things and more. Maybe all this time, I've been lying to myself by saying that they just want to hurt me, that I don't actually deserve it.

I can't take it anymore, my face is never perfect enough, my hair gets flat and lifeless, my smile isn't pretty, not even close. Why, why can't I just be good enough?? If not for other people, then why not myself?? Why am I never good enough for myself??

The thoughts take over my head. I start to think about Harry, what's he doing right now??

I slowly creep out of my room and get to a point on the stairs so that I can see the boys, but they can't see me. Harry is crying and the others look mad, mad and confused.

This is my fault, it's my fault that they are mad at him. If I wasn't here, everything between them would be fine, everything.

I scurry back upstairs and barge straight back to the bathroom mirror. With one last look at myself I go to my toiletries bag and pull out my razor. It's a razor off a craft knife. It belonged to my dad, but now he's not here to use it, so why shouldn't I??

I attack my wrists with the sharp edge and take out all my anger on my own body, the thoughts constantly going through my head. I swap arms now, using this wrist as a way to say sorry. Sorry to everyone who has resented my existence, sorry to my family for not dying with them and most importantly, sorry to Harry, for causing trouble the second I got back into his life. With that I sit in the corner, feeling too weak to stand any longer. I wait for my death, for my soul to leave my body. I stare at the opposite wall and see smiles on everyone's faces. All those who ever told me to die, who told me I was worthless, at least as I perish I am making some people, somewhere happy. It's all people want these days right, to feel happiness?? It's been so long for me, that I've given up. Not only on myself, but on the world. For me, happiness is extinct.

I'm still staring at the wall and I know that soon, death himself will be here to collect me. Through it all, I never really took notice of Zayn being frozen before me, or Liam tending to my wrists. Not even Harry who was bawling his eyes out, or Niall and Louis who looked scared.

I wasn't scared though, I felt relief almost. I had the feeling that Simon didn't want me here, and with the trouble I've caused already I know for a fact that the boys don't. This is probably a good thing. It's probably a good thing that I'm dying.

~ Harry'a POV ~

(Current time)

As soon as Sky was placed into the ambulance, the boys and I ran to the van. This is all my fault. I told her so many times when we were younger that she should kill herself and that she was worthless, but the fact that I saw what happened made me regret saying it 100 times more.