Life of a Little Sister 3

Chapter 15

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Hungover was an understatement. 

The next morning I was awoken by loud banging on my door.

"Get up Lydia, breakfast."

We were clearly past the tiptoeing around each other phase and back to making each others lives hell. 

"How was your night?" Leo asked as we all sat at the kitchen island eating some heart healthy bland cereal. 

I nearly choked.

"It was good."

"I heard." Leo smirked and Felix stifled a chuckle.

"Yeah I heard it's probably going to be my last." I shot a glare at Greg.

"At least for a ten mile radius." he confirmed.

"Unbelievable." I rolled my eyes.

It almost felt normal. Being back home and bickering with my brothers brought back the feelings I felt before leaving, when things weren't as tense. When life was simple and problems were small.

But it wasn't normal. I knew there was two years of tension, of thoughts unsaid, and conversations not had. 

For today I decided I wasn't going to overthink it. This didn't change me, being home didn't change the work it took to get me to where I am. I was still Lydia the bold and fearless girl who walks alone at night and makes enough money to live on her own. Their actions couldn't affect me because I decided two years ago they no longer got to control how I felt. 

"Good morning Bella," My father came up behind and kissed me on the head and took a seat. My mother followed.

"It is so good to have our family back together," My mother said and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, "Finally."

I tried not to sigh at the guilt tripping. There was a point where I cut off Joey and even my mother because of the guilt trip they gave me anytime I dared call. I started to get agitated at the memory of Joey and my mom telling me how I'm making a mistake.

How I need to come home because I'm breaking up the family, that things aren't the same without me. 

Those words affected me so deeply that I went to the school's free counselor. She explained, gingerly, that going no contact meant that I would need to be firm on my boundaries. 

She also explained that if I remained in contact with my mom and brother, these comments would likely be coming up constantly, and that I had to decide what is going to harm me vs just be something I choose to live with. The therapist was also the daughter of immigrants, and understood that the term "boundaries" was not a thing in some households and I would have a hard time enforcing them.

After the hundredth time of being guilted, I decided to block My parents and Joey too. Fast forward to present day, Maria Tonelli is trying to throw it in my face again. 

I twitched again at the mention of our once "broken" family.

"Enough," my dad put his hand on her arm, silencing her. 

That one gesture was enough to make me feel better. He saw me, he saw how I was feeling. 

I knew he didn't want me to feel bad, he had told me as much at the hospital.

He had told me how he understood that I had to leave and that he loved me and didn't blame me. I never felt close to my dad, but in this moment I felt like he understood me in a way the rest of my family didn't. I had so much respect for that man, who had been battling his own household for god knows how many years.