Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

30.

I need to stop listening to "replay" by shinee. I close my eyes at night to sleep and all i hear is "noona neomu yeppeo"
And the every beat in great detail.
I fear my condition will only worsen.

All the members were out. I had come home late from dancing and working on things so jin forced me to stay at home while the others went and did a group practice. Which made no sense because they NEEDED to get used to my placement in the dance sessions.
Particularly jungkook, who keeps stepping on my feet.

I was still on edge from Halloween and i regretted even waking up in the morning on that day. I felt weak, so uncontrollably weak and stupid, i was so vulnerable in that car, and what pained me the most is that i was given love and affection i simply wasn't used to i didn't know what to do with myself.

I was curled up in a ball and i reached out for my phone, replaying the song.

I needed to get up and do something. I had some things to do anyway. All my nice winter coats were at home and I needed to collect them. Jeewoo and dowoon were both at school so i would have to let my self in.

I decided to get the bus as the coming of a new month had brought ice.

I grabbed my bag and changed out of my pyjamas. I locked the door, not bothering to leave a note as im not sure if anyone read them anyway. I imagine yoongi struggled to read my own name. Poor guy.

The bus took an hour to get to the house, Jeewoo knew i was going to the house anyway. I punched in the code and let myself in.The familiar, warm air hit me. The fat books that lined the shelves, hadn't changed at all. i mean its only been a few weeks what had i been expecting?
Jeewoo to have put up wallpaper? Unlikely.

I smiled going to my old room. The empty feeling. I grabbed a suitcase and started chucking in clothes and other items.

The house was empty and so was my head. It was so peaceful to be free of thoughts while i folded clothes and stuffed more books into my case.

I hobbled back home, somebooks that never fit in my case tucked under one arm. getting my hand ready to punch in the code, leaning against the door, fumbling.

But before i could press enter, the door opened, causing me to fall backwards onto whoever opened the door.

"Wha-" they seemed just as shocked as i was, well we were both on the floor. It was yoongi. Suddenly this accident felt something like attempt of murder...

"I'm so sorry" i gasped holding out a hand. I regretted it the moment i extended it, because i knew he wouldn't take it.

But just as i was about the retract it, he grabbed it lifting himself.

"I'm sorry" i bowed my head to him he didn't say anything.

I think its best to leave it at that i thought dropping down to put all my books back.

How embarrassing. I fumbled with the books again and scurried back to my room.

I wanted the world to swallow me whole. I though down my stuff and ran to my bed, screaming into my pillow.

Shameful it was to have fallen over, even more so to have tripped over yoongi of all people.

I let out a long sigh, planning soon to get up and do something else to take my mind off things when someone barged into my room. Yoongi again.

He likes opening doors that one.

"uh-" i started, sitting up. Yoongi stood at the threshold of the door, almost like a penguin. He threw a bag into my hand and said quickly