The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 69 - Post-Show Questions

I was in a baggy jacket, waiting outside of his hospital room. My face was in my hands and my mind was spinning so, so fast. My feet were tapping, bouncing. I could hear humming from other patients and staff members, beeping machines and random elevator pings.

I wasn't enjoying this victory, this success, this pinnacle of my career, as much as I thought I would.

I felt like there were all these holes inside of me. I felt like some spots were having an ice cold breeze slip through and others were burning with pain, rage. This emotional rollercoaster still wasn't fucking done, and I wanted terribly to get off.

I watched the doctors leave his room and I immediately got my feet to push the door open but I stopped, gripping the handle. My forehead rested against it in thought.

This guy broke my fucking heart. I could feel it rattling in my chest, the pieces that weren't totally destroyed. That was nothing small. I gave it to him completely, held him while he cried, stood by him through every awful word he spilled, and he still ripped it apart. Why was I coming back for more? I shook my head, knowing he took a bullet for me in a way and I opened the door. He was lying up right, his torso wrapped up tight. His eyes were surprised to meet mine, we were silent.

"What the hell happened?" I wish my words were harsh and demanding, but they were spoken softly.

"I saw Zayn for a second leaving down stage, from behind, I knew he did something. I figured... what was there to mess with? I knew he fucked with the landing."

"If I hit my head... if you had?" he nodded tightly. "Zayn tried to kill me, us."

"I don't think it was his intention Odette."

"Oh so that's a fucking excuse."

"I didn't say that." He said sharply. "There isn't an excuse for any of this." He shook his head.

"What... what happened to you?"

"I broke a rib completely and cracked another. You'll be dancing with an understudy for the tour." I nodded. "You don't seem disappointed."

"I'm not." I whispered. "I don't want to see you again."

"Fine." His voice was tight. "I deserve it."

"You deserve a hell of a lot worse Harry, so much worse." I bit my lip. "I'm done crying over you so I'm going to go. I hope you get better. Tell Zayn to leave me the fuck alone."

He was silent and my back was to him. "I'm calling the police on your mother tomorrow Odette. Take the night and... rub her fucking face in what you've accomplished. You've made at as a Graff... you were... stunning."

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I ran the hell out. I sat in a cab, wondering where he should take me. I knew most were at the after party, which I didn't want to attend. It was not the type of night to be out partying, not after this ride I had been on. So... I went to my mother's house.

She opened the door in surprise, still dressed from the evening. "Odette." I just stared.

"Well?"

The silence between us was aching as I waited to hear her thoughts.

"You were... sensational." I felt pride well up inside of me.

It was what I wanted to hear. I didn't give a fuck about her anymore. She was a deplorable human being but I needed to know that. My entire life, my whole life was built around this woman and I never noticed before. It felt amazing to hear those words after all the ruler smacking, the harsh words about my unpointed feet or my sloppy arms.

"I need you to be truthful. I need you to look me in the eyes, and no more lying." She gripped the door. "Did you kill Anne Styles?"

She didn't react. "Odette Grace Ricci-"

"Graff." I whispered.

She stiffened. "Odette Grace Graff, I did not murder that woman. I hated her. I absolutely hated her. I won't lie. I loathed her. But I never physically hurt her." Her eyes were right on mine. Her voice was even. "I swear on all I have. I never harmed her physically. Mentally? I was a horrible person to her, yes, but I haven't taken a life."

I only nodded and I turned, ignoring her calling after me. My head was constantly spinning and I felt ill. I was all over the place emotionally. My mind was working a mile a minute as I thought of what she said to me.

Why... why the hell did I believe her?