The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 12 - Day Out

I was avoiding him completely. I hated it. I hated that the company used to be an oasis, it was calm and wonderful, it was where my heart was. Now? Now I was praying I didn't run into Harry. It had been going on for weeks, this awful tense air flooded the studio, sometimes I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I felt honestly sick. He'd stare at me with this look of pure hate, pure rage. I didn't do anything to earn it, and I'm sure my mom didn't either. The stare would make my heart feel heavy, almost scared. He gazed so cruelly at me, like... I had no idea but it made my skin crawl and my body feel on edge. For him to say all those things, it made me think he was nothing but some crazed liar. Of all the people in the world that this Company could have gone after, they had to pick the one lunatic that was after my family?

I got dressed early Sunday morning. I needed to go to the gym, the one I had been going to nearby my house closed down. I needed to keep my body up, my stamina. I went to Planet Fitness; I had never been to this place before. It was a pretty purple color, which I liked it. I put in my head phones and climbed on a treadmill. I started running to the beat of Katy Perry. I was having a ball and sweating it all out, staying in right shape. It was hard to make sure my weight was healthy. I had to make sure I ate enough based on what I was burning off. I didn't want to be underweight, I knew an awful lot of dancers who went down that path and it ended tragically. That want to be slim... it was tempting to really drop weight, so you could be the lightest, you could be the easiest to lift and look the most gentle. I didn't want to go down that path, not at all.

I stepped off the treadmill, beads of sweat dripped down my forehead, the back of my neck, I looked up and froze. Why the hell was Harry here? He was only in shorts, his body soaked in sweat as he listened to music, lifting. I could see his muscles jump at the heavy weight, flex and grow stronger with each lift upward. He had his hair pulled back in a ponytail, which no matter how hard I tried to ignore, I still found adorable. I had no idea why I thought that, maybe the mix of something gentle, and goofy, on his hard exterior. It didn't mean I didn't hate him though, because I felt nothing but for him.

I ignored him walked to the weights, the smaller ones to do muscle toning. I grabbed my bag and then headed home, showering felt wonderful. I tried to let it all go down the drain, the tension in my shoulders, the anxiety. I thought of Liam and smiled, knowing he always brought me calm with his pretty brown eyes.

"Hey," I called him, drying off.

"Hey Dottie, what are you up to?"

"I'm going to run to the mall, just shop a bit. What are you doing?"

"I'm going with Niall to Zanders Courts, play some indoor basketball."

"I won't kick his ass too bad!" I heard Niall shout. I laughed.

"Well, I just wanted to say hi."

"I'm glad you did. We're not very eventful is all."

"That doesn't bother me one bit. I have to get ready to go, I'll text you? Let me know how badly you fail."

"Hey, hey don't insult my basketball skills."

"Ha, good job Dot!" Niall screamed and I heard him yell ouch, like Liam shoved him. I rolled my eyes.

"Bye Liam."

"Bye Odette,"

I shook my head with a fond smile and went into my closet, pulling on some clothes. I needed to pick up a few things from the mall. I wanted a pair of Keds, a cute little red pair.

I was walking through the mall, people watching. I stared at Victoria's Secret. I wanted to go in. I was always so bashful of that kind of stuff, like... being sexy? I didn't really know how to be that. I just bought my underwear on JCPenny, standard places like that. I shook my head and kept on walking down to the shoe store, picking out my Keds. I loved them, they were comfortable too. I couldn't help but do a little bit of shopping, I was so weak. I hadn't gone for a long, long time, and I think it was deserved after dealing with that prick. I needed a little pick me up, and they didn't call it retail therapy for nothing.

I was happily picking out a few little sun dresses, and shorts. I was walking staring into Victoria's Secret; ah hell why was it so intimidating? Maybe it was because the women were on these massive posters exuding sex appeal and beauty? I hadn't ever felt that before, not really. But I had a real boyfriend now, and I was so tired of Liam always seeing my same old underwear that was so simple. It was always girl boxers, or little briefs in blues or pinks with polka dots. I feel like I wore the underwear of a high school teen, hell, they probably wore sexier clothes than me.

I bit my lip and I walked into Pink, which was much less threatening. I was looking at some of the cute little bras, all floral and simple; I gravitated mostly to solid colors, when I heard his stupid ass voice.

"I don't care," his voice was annoyed. "Pick one. I have no opinion."

"I want you to like it."

"I really don't care. I'd rather you not wear anything." I rolled my eyes, hearing the comment.

"Well, it's part of the whole build up of the thing."

"There is no build up; we both know what happens when I call you Penny."

"You are so boring."

"Just get the thong or don't, I have shit to do."

"Ugh, fine, I'll get it."

I immediately took the hell off. That was a terrible way to speak to someone. I hurried and left to my place. I handled my new clothes and decided to go practice. I wanted to work on Swan Lake; I really needed to work hard if I wanted that role in the upcoming season.

I got dressed and spent my day dancing and dancing. I was dripping in sweat, my muscles ached, I was exhausted. It was the best feeling in the whole world.

I went home and cleaned myself up, made a nice dinner, called my mom.

"No I did a bit of shopping." I giggled, knowing we had an obsession.

"Oh I did too! I got lost in Nordstrom."

"Lost," I rolled my eyes. 'I'm so sure mom."

"I did! I just happened to go in and there happened to be all these dresses and..."

"Your account balance happened to decline." I laughed. "I just got a few things."

"You'll have to show me soon." She yawned.

"Am I keeping you up?"

"I'm just a little bit sleepy is all."

"Well, I'll let you go. I'm tired from practice today."

"I bet, you have a nice night honey."

"You too, night mom. I love you."

"I love you too, night,"

I hung up and smiled, setting my phone on the night stand. I picked it back up and sent a text to Liam. No lying, what was the score?

I got my ass kicked. My pride is wrecked.

I laughed. You're still my big strong man!

Happy to hear it x

I shook my head and sank down into my sheets, feeling the mattress conform to me. I ended up crashing, so much on my mind, thinking of my dancing.

I knew I might not get the role; I might never dance as Odette, as Odile. It was... so sad but it was a possibility. I would do my best and at the end of the day, that's all I could ask of myself.