The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 48 - Hurt

I was at a loss as to what to say. I pulled in him right away; he was like a human icicle. I stripped him of his pants, and shirt, they were soaking wet. He was drunk, I could smell the alcohol on his breath, not only that, but he was absolutely sobbing.

I hadn't ever seen him cry. I hadn't ever seen him look... weak. That wasn't Harry, then again, who was he really?  I was still learning. He was falling apart right in front of me, and I was scrambling. How do I put him back together?

I had him in boxers and nothing else, in my bed. I wrapped him in my arms from behind, his body so cold, to its core. I kissed his shoulder and tucked one of my arms under his head, arching it over. I kissed his ear, softly cooing, my other arm wrapped around him. My legs tangled with his, the weight of my heavy quilts pressing into us.

"Shh, you're okay."

He choked, really crying, really letting this go. I could do nothing but hear him gasp, wail, shake, and sniffle heavily. He sounded like a broken child, you know that cry? It's gut wrenching and you want to kiss away the pain but it won't fix anything. His tears were dripping, pouring off his face, even running off his nose.

I only kissed his ear, hummed, ran my fingers through his ice cold hair. He pushed off me and shouted, I couldn't understand. He was panting with sudden rage.

"Calm down, Harry, please breathe."

"No, no, she's dead, she lied there alone till she died," he screamed and he threw everything off my dresser, my perfumes shattering. I jumped. "Her killer just walked away as she suffered!" He screamed even louder, knocking down a painting. "She was crying out, her eyes were wet, she was crying as she died!" My lamp was picked up and slammed into the wall, shattering and sparking. I flinched.

"How did you know she was crying, how do you know this?"

"I found her." He screamed. "I held her and shook her. She was shot and the police say she didn't die till she bled out, but was immobile, she suffered." He threw my computer, flipped my desk chair, ultimately my desk was tossed too. "She wouldn't wake up, she wouldn't wake up," he sobbed and picked up my full length mirror, throwing it right to the floor. I gasped and jumped.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop it right now!"

He sobbed and stared at me, tears rush down his face. He looked defeated, broken, and... scared. He staggered a bit and I grabbed him, throwing him into my bed so he could avoid the glass on his bare feet. I pulled him to my chest and he fought against me but I held in place, locked around him with all my strength as he shoved against me, so frustrated. I was crying myself, at a loss, and hurting over his pain. He finally gave in, slowly crying himself out.

"Mom," he cried out, burying his face into my chest.

I took a breath once he was asleep, the tears and emotion exhausting him.  I sat up a bit, looking down at him as he now rested on my stomach. I kissed his temple, seeing the wet tear streaks still on his face, seeing his hand laced with mine. I gently slid away and embraced him, moving closer, my head on his shoulder. I fell asleep, pinning myself to him the best I could.

I woke up, I wasn't sure of the time, feeling him roll on his back. I took a breath and leaned back.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'll clean everything up."

"It's okay, and yes, you will." I propped up on my elbow. I ran my fingertips up and down his chest. "Can we talk?" he shook his head.

'I want to pretend that never happened. I just... I never had anywhere to go before."

"I don't want to pretend that it never happened. I want to make sure it doesn't happen again, let's talk, that was too much pain that just exploded. You can't bottle that up." He shook his head. "Please Harry," I kissed his chest, gentle kisses. "Please talk?"