The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 54 - Alive (Mature)

I frowned and watched my form, the lines my body made, the arch of my arms and my legs. The muscles that were sharply protruding were not... it wasn't right. The angle of my body, the way my shape was, something was wrong. I felt a heavy, heavy sense of dread and borderline despair.

My eyes locked to Harrys in the mirror, his hands gripping my hips. His eyes were nearly black. They looked so harsh and almost scary, his jaw seemed sharper and his hair seemed darker.

"What? What are you thinking?"

"It looks so off." I whispered, lowering my leg.

"You look fine."

I shook my head and gazed at my body. "Do I look bigger?"

"What?"

"Do I look bigger?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Harry nodded. "I have gained weight."

"You're harder to lift."

"I know."

"You need to run that off, you need to run and run and hope you can even remotely get to the finish line." He laughed and suddenly Valerie appeared. "Baby," he cooed to her and kissed her, her body perfect and tanned. He gripped her behind and I felt the panic and tears spread.

"Odette," I vaguely heard. "Dot!"

I gasped and shot up, dripping in sweat. I looked frantically around my bedroom. "Holy shit," I panted.

"Fuck. I was taking a shower," he shook his wet hair out. "What the hell?" he brushed my hair back, his palm pressing to my face.

"I... I had a really bad dream." I curled up in his lap, realizing, it was Monday. It was Monday and the weekend was spent having blissful sex and intimate conversation. We had spent the whole day rehearsing and I was so incredibly anxious about the impending performance. It had been so stressful, I had even been seeing things. I think I was going crazy.

"What happened baby?"

"I just... I was too heavy for you to lift and you were with Valerie again."

"I haven't talked to her in forever."

"What, I'm too heavy?" I gaped.

"What? No, that was a ridiculous statement. I didn't think I needed to say anything about it."

"Oh God," I fell into his chest. "Harry the performance is so soon, the wedding is at the end of the week, I'm so overwhelmed."

"Shhh," he cooed, and kissed my head. "You can do it."

"It feels so heavy."

"Focus on the week, focus on the wedding."

"Yeah," I nodded and shook.

"You're fine," he spoke against my ear. "You were waiting to shower after practice, go, relax. I'll order food."

I nodded and stripped out of my clothes and let the water pound into my neck. It was hitting me. It was coming.

The performance of my life was coming and what the hell was I doing? I flew out of the bathroom, seeing him about to dial for takeout when I shook my head.

'We're going out. We're going to... something sexy, I don't know. We need something. I need something. I need to keep connecting to Odile. I don't have time to waste. Help. We'll go Times Square at four am, we'll do anything, come on."

"Dot slow down, first," he grabbed a little hand towel and rang out my hair. "Second, it's two weeks till the show. Do you really expect to change more than you have been?"