The Black Swan | Reposted

Chapter 33 - Alcohol

I couldn't help but like him. I liked that he was different, I mean, I wasn't falling in love with him or really crushing, because I knew that would only end in heartbreak. I was so into his presence though, and exploring what he had to teach me.

It had snowed; New York looked so beautiful this time of year. I loved it, I loved the tall buildings coated in white, the busy streets white, the crunching under my feet. It just meant we were that much closer to our production. All while we worked on Swan Lake we worked on another production or two, simple things but that also required a lot of work. Harry and I had small roles in that, so we weren't as drained from our main focus.

"Liam, Liam, please!" I shouted as I ran down the hall, chasing after him. He had been ignoring me so much, I knew Harry said I shouldn't care but I couldn't help it.

"What?" he barked, facing me. He looked so handsome with his puppy dog eyes and big pink lips. He was unshaven, and his heavy sweatshirt made him look bigger and cuddlier, a very drastic change from Harry. I don't think Harry and cuddly belonged in the same sentence.

"Why are you doing this?" I stared at him helplessly. "I miss you so much, you won't return my texts or calls, you're shutting me out and it's not fair. I miss my friend, you broke your promise."

"Do you know what it's like to know you're hooking up with this guy? To know you're hooking up with some guy who I know doesn't give a shit about you? I don't even care if you can't be with me, fine, whatever, we didn't have a future because we're too good of friends but fuck," he shouted, shaking his head. "It's nothing I can sit by and let happen."

"It's my choice Liam, and I'm not sleeping with him. It's not like I'm dating him, that won't ever happen. I don't know what I'm doing." I shook my head, swallowing hard. "I'm focusing on my dancing and he really is helping me. I wish I didn't hurt you, I'm sorry for that."

"I know you are but I need space. I hate that he has you, even if it's not completely, I fucking hate it." He turned and walked out, breaking my heart. I felt so bad. I didn't like hurting anyone.

I hung my head and walked to gather my bags. I walked up to Harry, seeing him gathering his clothes, covered in sweat. He gave me a glance.

"Will you buy me alcohol?"

He paused and then smiled. "That's a big crime, buying alcohol for someone who isn't twenty one."

"I'm sure you've done worse."

"Yeah, I'll get you a few things."

"Thanks," I breathed out and headed home, needing to drink. I really wanted to. I didn't get drunk that often, always worried for my body but it was the weekend, and I didn't have to teach or dance. I wanted to drink.

I got home and showered, pulling on these white lacy sleep shorts. I grabbed a navy blue tank top, my bra on the floor. I needed to just... relax. I was overwhelmed by coming this role, Vincent still said I was hazy, he still said that I could be stronger, fiercer. It sucked so much.

It was kind of late, I had just eaten dinner, all vegetables and rice when there was a knock at my door.

"Hi," I smiled at him, seeing him holding a bag.

"Alcohol?"

"Yes please," I took the bag and skipped off to the kitchen. He followed me, his steps rather heavy.

"This is your place?'

"Oh, yeah, you've never been in here before. Mikes Hard Lemonade, how weak of a girl do you think I am?"

He smirked, leaning against the counter. "I got different kinds. Pick your poison."

I dug through, seeing straight vodka, seeing apple flavored drinks, beer, and then flavored vodkas. I cracked open some kind of blue vodka and started drinking.