Leaving

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Alison:
I had gathered enough money over the years to spend enough money for a couple of months in Paris and I figured that would be enough to get Emily out of my head. I scribbled a note to my mom only writing her a brief explanation and left it on the kitchen table. I knew she'd forgive me when I came back. Besides, I was 18 and I could make my own decisions. I also left a note for Emily and snuck into her room last night to leave it by her bed. I smiled to myself as I thought of myself always reminding Emily to get better security on her window. We had always joked about how she would get kidnapped or something because she's such a heavy sleeper. I felt something warm but wet sliding down my face and I realized they were tears. I swiped them away angrily. No more thoughts about Emily. I walked quicker as more tears formed in my eyes as I passed by Emily's house.

I stuck my headphones in my ears as I waited in the airport but I quickly took them out when every single song reminded me of something Emily and I had done together. Gosh, why couldn't I stop thinking about her? It couldn't be that hard to get over someone, could it?

My plane had finally arrived so I loaded up and took a seat in the back by the window. A few noisy kids sat in front of me but I didn't mind since that would be a distraction for me. I leaned my head against the cold airplane glass and closed my eyes. I didn't get much rest last night since I was busy writing goodbye letters, planning my trip, booking a hotel, and well, leaving. I caught the earliest plane that I possibly could so it was 1:00 AM and I was here feeling extremely alone. But not as alone as I felt when Emily had told me she needed space.

No, stop. I'm not going to think about Emily right now. I'm just not going to think about anything right now. Just relax.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing here?" I heard a deep voice question me as I finally dozed off. I perked my head up and looked at the empty seat next to me and then at my aisle. I finally found who had said those words to me. He was extremely tall and had a nice tan with dark hair complimenting his navy-blue eyes. Who knew you could even have those color eyes but oh my god, they were gorgeous. I decided to put on my charm, "just going for a fun trip, casual time." I flashed my dimples at him and I couldn't help but notice how he bit his lip when he looked into my eyes.
"Well, mind if I join you?" He asked casually running a hand through his spiked dark hair, his muscles flexing as he stuck them in his pockets.
"Of course not." I looked out the window trying not to seem interested if he joined me or not. This might be exactly what I needed to get over Emily. I felt movement beside me and smiled to myself as I realized he had sat down next to me. "What are you doing here?" I asked finally turning my attention to him.
"Same thing as you, I'm actually meeting my ex girlfriend or soon to be girlfriend in Paris." He informed me laughing, "long story." He added and I bit my tongue because I wanted to ask more questions.
"So you guys are getting back together or what?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah, I moved out here so we broke up, but my job moved me back and we've been talking non-stop talking since then and I still love her. No matter where I go, I always think about her and how happy she makes me and she makes me feel better." The stranger told me and I nodded.
"What's her name?" I was curious now.
"Emily." He said simply.

Are you kidding me? Could this be anymore of a sign? I resisted the urge to jump off this plane at this moment and go tell Emily exactly how I felt about her because I knew she chose Paige. I knew now that she did in fact have feelings for me and that's another reason why I left. I wanted Emily to be happy and I didn't think I could do that for her, I just wish I could have the chance to tell her that.

"Are you okay?" The stranger asked me and I jumped.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realize I had zoned out." I apologized, becoming extremely red.
"That's okay. What's on your mind? If you don't mind me asking." He looked at me intensely and I would never see him again so I filled him in on the whole situation. "Well," he said after I had finished, "it seems like you really love this girl and she clearly has feelings for you. But you're already here so you can't go back, maybe this space is what you need. I mean, if she has a girlfriend maybe you should just let that wear out and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be."
He was right of course, I was already here and maybe I was just complicating things. "I don't want to hurt her and I know that I'm bad for her. I just hope she can move on and love Paige. I think that she's better for her than I am. I'm selfish and to be honest I don't think I could handle ever hurting her." I said after a while.
"Think about what you just said, it seems like she brings out the better side of you and you really care about her." He pointed out.
"This isn't helping." I laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"What's her name?" He asked.
"Emily." I replied smiling.
"That's too weird." He laughed causing me to laugh.
"Whatever. I'm sleeping." I punched him playfully and laid my head against the window again.

I hoped that being away for some time would make leaving easier. I really, really hoped it would.

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