Falling for you

Thinking of you

Emily:
The first week without Alison went by very slowly. My mind kept traveling back to our old conversations.

Flashback:
"Hey bestie." Ten year-old Alison said wringing her arms around my neck. We were so innocent back then and that little touch meant nothing to me. We were in line for lunch and I had saved her a spot.
"Hey!" I replied moving over so she could stand next to me.
"Hey look, it's ms. Goody-two-shoes." Some little troublemaker boys said pointing at me and laughing. Alison got really mad and shoved the boy who had said that on the ground.
"Thanks Ali." I said bashfully kicking my shoes together.
End flashback

Even back then, she protected me and was there for me. Even if Ali didn't see the good in herself, I did. I knew she thought that she was bad for everyone, I even thought she was bad for me but now that she's gone I only realize that she's perfect for me. I mean, maybe she is really flirty and doesn't care about others but- my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my bedroom window.
My thoughts instantly went to Alison but my heart sank when I saw Paige.
I guess my face must've reflected my feelings because Paige muttered, "gee, happy to see you too."
"I'm sorry, I'm happy to see you babe but-" I started to say.
"It's okay, I know. I'm just tired of being put after Alison considering that I'm the one who's your girlfriend, and not her." She shrugged her shoulders after I let her inside my room.
"I don't mean to be like that, it's hard for me and I wish you would just understand that." I retorted trying to hold in my anger.
"I'm sorry baby, I guess I should be more understanding." She massaged my shoulders after I collapsed on the bed, "but you've been in here depressed for a week and it's time to get out."
"I don't want to get out." I replied stubbornly.
"Fine, then we'll stay in here." Paige smirked and crawled on top of me. My heart started beating like crazy as she kissed my neck and gently sucked on it.
"Maybe we should go outside-to the pool maybe?" I breathed out not wanting to go far with Paige.
"If Ali were doing this to you, would you ask her to stop?" Paige whispered in my ear harshly.
"Y-yes." I stammered but I knew the answer was no, "stop being jealous, seriously." It was getting really annoying. Every single one of our conversations led back to Alison and then Paige would get mad at me for something she brought up.
"I'm with you, Paige." I assured her, pulling her into my lap and kissing her on the nose.
"Then act like it." She crossed her arms.
"How am I supposed to do that? Didn't I say yes to dating YOU? Don't I say 'I love you' to YOU? What else do you want?" I asked trying to calm myself down.
"Why won't you go further with me? I mean, all we do is kiss and even then you don't seem into it." Paige answered.
"Relationships aren't about physical things Paige." I remarked but she was right. I was being a horrible girlfriend. How could I let Ali take over my life like this when we weren't even together?
"Yeah I know but I love you Emily and I want all of you." When Paige said those words I wished it was Ali who had said that. This was too wrong. I needed to get over Alison.
I didn't reply to Paige and instead I kissed her lips gently pulling her on top of me as I laid down. She smiled against my lips and I felt her hands run through my hair.

You like Paige, you're doing this because you like Paige and not Alison.

I placed my hand gently on Paige's cheek as she continued to kiss me passionately.

Wait, stop. You're not supposed to be doing this to prove something, you're supposed to be doing this because you love someone.

I pulled away as Paige kissed down my neck.
"Paige-" I said weakly as she hit my weak spot.
"I'm sorry." She broke away angry that I had rejected her.
"Me too." I kissed her quickly but my thoughts were on Alison, again.