Fools Fall

30- Noah

Noah

The following week was a constant sedated numbness of living. I had opened the envelope my mother gave Sam to give to me.

I sat at the counter with Ciera by my side and we both stared at the unopened envelope in front of us that laid on the countertop. "So... you gonna open it?" Ciera questioned in a whisper. It was the first words spoken in the past three minutes.

I sighed and grabbed the envelope. Curiosity was only half of what I felt looking at the envelope. I was also scared. I knew the probability of there being a letter in here with her saying that I was the reason she left, being a slim to none probability, but the thought was still in the back of my mind.

It's one thing to think it was your fault, it's another to know it was your fault. And I didn't know if I could take it.

"Oh, for fuck sake, it's not that dramatic," Ciera claimed as she yanked the envelope from my hand, tore it open, and pulled out what was inside.

A happy birthday card.

I grabbed the celebratory card out of my friend's hand and opened the card. The card was an average, probably Dollar Tree bought, birthday card, but there was a note written inside.

'Happy birthday, sweetheart. There's so much I need to say to you, but so little room on this card. I'll start with I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you and your brother. I needed to get away.

Please let me explain why.'

At the bottom of her note is an address.

I sniffled and quickly swiped at my eyes before any tears that had built up could drop. I cleared my throat, stood up, and threw away the card.

"Noah..." Ciera looked at me with sympathy in her eyes and I couldn't take.

"Don't. I don't want to see her, and if I wanted to argue about it, I'd call Sam."

"Okay. You're right, it's your decision, but don't you want-" I waited, but she seemed to think better of her next words and her mouth closed. "What should I make for lunch?" She asked instead.

Ciera was basically my roommate and after the third day, I demanded that she slept in my bed and I'd sleep on the couch. I was glad she was there, she helped me clear my mind on the situation with Sam.

We were sitting on the couch Wednesday night, Ciera insisted on watching Clueless and drinking hot chocolate for 'comfort'. But our comfort movie got shut out when I told her everything that happened between Sam and I.

"You're such a jackass," Ciera stated emotionlessly so I couldn't tell if she was being serious.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, feeling irritated now instead of my bitter mood when I was finished telling her how we broke up.

"Jude makes him uncomfortable and you haven't done anything about it," Ciera stated.

"Sam needs to trust me."

"Head-ass, it's not about trusting you. It's about every time he tells you he doesn't like Jude, you do nothing about it. How about you just talk to Jude and tell him straight up 'nothing is going to happen between us, I'm with Sam, and if you can't respect that, then we can't be friends'."

"But Jude knows that."

"Right, but you do that for Sam. So Sam can hear you being firm about your relationship with him. You telling him, 'get over it, Jude and I are just friends', isn't reassurance. It's you being too stubborn to do what Sam needs you to do to feel secure. God, I thought you were a Scorpio, not a Leo," she rolled her eyes at me and left me stumped.