The journey of our love (completed)

Ch-15

" it's hard to went out your emotions, show your vulnerabilities to anyone but if you did in front of your loved ones, you feel peace in your heart"

" You know I have this guilt inside me, ki maine apni bachi ek baar bhi nh dekhi, you promised me ki tum use nh jaane doge, kyu nh milne diya mujhe, mujhe bs ek baar dekhna tha" she uttered.

They heard the cry of a baby outside the operation theatre, a nurse called him inside as soon as the baby was born, the nurse give her in his hand, she didn't cry more, she looked at him with her beautiful and angelic eyes, he falls in love with her more, her chest rises up and down as she is trying harder to breathe, and the next moment she takes her last breath in his arms clutching his finger in her small dainty hands, he sobbed resting her on his chest, holding her tightly, his tears falling on her small lifeless body, the nurse came to take her from him but he didn't let her as he moved back shaking his head vigorously.

" sidharth you have to let go of her" saanchi speaks standing beside him, he didn't uttered a word for half an hour, continuously caressing her baby saesha, dropping kisses on her head in between, he seems like a lifeless soul.

" sana is not responding at all, she was up in the whole process but before she can see her daughter, she collapsed, her brain didn't take what just happened, her bp went so low and she faced troubled in breathing, her heartbeat rises till 120, she went into a coma" his world tumbled listening what just she said, he handed over their baby to her and standing up, he went outside the operation theatre towards ICU where sana was shifted, she was lying their lifeless, the tubes were attached to her hands, the beeping sounds of machines are the only sounds heard in the room full with people of their family, his legs gives up, the strength he had maintained the time she was in operation theatre is gone as he sat on the stool near her bed, taking her hand in his he cried putting his forehead on their interlocking hands, he didn't care if anyone is present in the room or watching him all devasted, he needs her, he didn't utter a single words in two days, he was in the hospital all the time, sitting besides her...no words of condolences helped him.

" Sidharth, we have to perform last rites bacha" his mother speaks, he looked back at her.

" Maa.....me....kaise....krunga....mein
Nh kar skta, I promised her ki woh usko dekhega, let's her wake up once uske baad karte hai na please" he requested.

" sidharth we don't know when she will wake up, it's hard to say, and as a doctor I suggest, it's better to perform now, agar uske samne kroge toh she might fall into depression for the lifetime, uska mind or heart ye chiz accept krne ko tayar nh hai and it may lead to heart attack" Dr savita said...

After thinking much, he finally decided to perform their daughter's last rites...
************
" ush din me yahi khada tha, she was in my arms all covered in a white blanket, lifeless, her body was bluish but she was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, I have no strength to give her agni, it was the toughest thing to do, if I have a chance toh me uski jagah le leta, itni chotti si thi woh, you know she held my finger, jab usne meri taraf dekha na tab mujhe pta chla what we lose, I wait for you sana, it's just we don't know ki tu kab hosh me aayegi, mujhe zaroorat thi teri bhut zyada, sab the saath me par tu nh thi jisse me woh baate share kar sku jo me feel karta hu, I was sitting on the same place for hours, mujhe nh pta tha kese jeena hai tab" he expressed his plight to her, she listened to him patiently, rubbing his arms.

" I was mad at you, like really mad, you shut off yourself from me completely, Tu bolti nh thi, baat nh krti thi, kamre me band rehti thi, zaroorat thi mujhe teri yaar, I need you and all things you said about abortion and let her go peacefully, the way you talked to her last time, made me mad, mujhe lagta tha koi maa aise kese keh skti hai, syd tu usse pyar nh karti, you never asked about her from me, aur mujhe gussa aata tha, ki tu kyu nh phuchti..aur..."

" we fall apart because of lack of communication, I know you love her more than anything in this world, par mujhse phuch, she was inside me, In my womb, 24x7 for eight freaking months, my day started with her, ends with her, when I used to see myself in the mirror, I come face to face with this stitches, it reminds me of her, reminds me of myself, I was not able to protect her, apne dhukh me tera dhukh dikha hi nh, aur kabhi dikha toh baat krne ki himmat hi nh Hui, I was in denial, I don't want to hear from anyone that she is no more aur maine tujhe shut off kia toh Tu bhi ek baar me hi chla gya, mujhe marke, daant ke smja deta yr, me samajh jaati, I became devasted after you leave, at that moment I realize what I have done, I am sorry" she continued after him.

" it's our mistake, not yours, not mine, it's destiny sana, par uske baad one thing lead to another, the trust issue starts coming, I was almost convinced that you are with Ankush when I saw her leaving the house one day in the morning"

" ghar chle??" she asked after a while, he nodded kissing the nameplate once more, he didn't cry his guts out today like he used to do all the time, he let her go peacefully, as she is with him today from now onwards he will remember her with a smile...

" abse har baar hash kar yaad krega?" she asked looking at his smiling face, he nodded, pulling her in his arms hugging her tightly and dropping a kiss on her temple.

They were lying in each other arms under the sky on the car bonnet, he is playing with her fingers absent mindedly when his phone rings...

" hello...haan maaa...haan....nh....mein...phuchta..hu??" he ended the call.

" ky kha maa ne" she asked.

" Niharika went in labour, they are in hospital kabhi she delivered the baby"

" toh yahan kyu betha hai let's go" she said coming out from his hold.

" are you sure, you want to go" he asked as they remembered their dreadfully event everytime.

" I am sure, hum saath hai na...toh hum khuch bhi kr skte" she whispered packing his lips standing on her toes but he didn't let her go as he starts kissing her softly taking her lips one by one, ravishing their taste...

"We must accept
finite disappointment,
but we must never lose
infinite hopes"