Secretary Jeon [Jungkook x Reader]

♡ 9

CHAPTER 9

Something between Jungkook and I had changed since our conversation in Jeju. The closeness I'd felt to him was still there, but now there was also a feeling of tension that I couldn't make sense of. He'd retreated to his normal behavior of acting like a 'proper secretary'. I couldn't help but feel disappointed, like I'd caused this. That I'd pushed him too far.

My eyes followed Jungkook as he paced back and forth in my office, talking on the phone in a hushed tone, so as not to disturb my work. I found myself watching him more and more in the past few days, picking up on small mannerisms that I'd never noticed before. He was always fidgeting with his hands or his hair. When he was focused on solving a problem, he'd sit with his mouth just slightly open, head tilted to the side.

Jungkook suddenly spoke up, and I had to divert my eyes to the tablet below me, so as not to be caught ogling him. "That was your father...you'll have your first date with one of the marriage candidates tonight." His face showed no emotion.

I pursed my lips and closed my eyes. "Okay, thank you."

"I will email you the details," Jungkook responded, not commenting on my reaction as he typically would. "His name is Kim Seokjin- he is the next in line to take over his family's company. They are one of the most renowned names in the music industry, so I assume your father thinks the company will be able to benefit from dressing some of their biggest artists."

"Great."

I couldn't be bothered to even complain. Perhaps, accepting the first candidate on my father's list would be the easiest route to take. One and done- off to the ceremony. Another part of me wanted to be a royal pain in the ass and drag the dates out for as long as possible. Maybe my father would forget his intentions to sell me. Yeah, right.

~

Fancy dinner in a fancy hotel. That was the name of the game. Obviously, it was to be expected, but still I'd gotten my hopes up that my date wouldn't be this dreadfully predictable. In a ruby colored dress, with matching heels, and matching lips, I made my way down to the table. Shadow's dancing across the wall and doctored mood lightning hid my date's face until I was just in front of him. He rose from the table to greet me and pull out my chair. He was quite handsome, and seemingly even a gentleman. Good enough, right?

"I was looking forward to meeting you, Miss Park," the man spoke politely, the slightest bit of nervousness hiding behind his voice. "Please, call me Jin."

"I was looking forward to meeting you as well, Jin. Call me Y/N." I gave a practiced smile.

The majority of the evening was spent discussing each other's careers, with occasional deviations in conversation to our personal interests. He was a kind enough man, with impressively no red flags on display at first glance. But that was it. There was no spark, no feeling of being unable to tear my eyes away from him. I simply spoke my rehearsed lines, feigned my interest, laughed at his jokes, and smiled when necessary. The best way to describe our date? A transaction.

When the dinner was over, Jungkook picked me up out front of the hotel in the company car. Hopping into the seat next to him was a sweet reprieve from that exhausting dinner. With him, I could remove the mask, and allow myself to exist in my purest form, perfectly imperfect. What was the difference between him and any other person?

Though he'd acted a bit distant in the morning, I'd still expected him to greet me, but he surprisingly gave me no more than a nod before driving off down the road. I felt as though I were suffocating from the awkward air between us. The quiet buzzing of the radio and my attempts to distract myself by staring out of the window were not enough. My legs bounced up and down as a I tried to settle my nervous energy.

"How was it?" He finally broke the silence, eyes fixated on the road before him, face still as unreadable as it was earlier in the office.

"It was fine," I muttered. "I suppose I could marry him and just get it over with."

"So, you like him?" Jungkook spoke calmly, his eyes scrunching, slightly twitching.

"No," I scoffed. How ridiculous. "But I didn't hate him so that's good enough for me."

"Is it?" he questioned, looking at me in disbelief.

"Yep."

"Are you truly that eager to throw away your own happiness, Y/N?" his tone was growing increasingly harsh. "Why is that you don't care about what happens to you? Do you not see how worthy you are?"

Feeling a rush of overwhelming emotions, I matched his energy, beginning to raise my voice. "What does it matter to you, Jungkook? Why do you care?"

Jungkook remained silent, refusing to acknowledge my questions, until he pulled the car into a space in the nearby park. "Get out."

"Are you insane?" I stared at him with my mouth dropped wide open.

Unbuckling his seatbelt, he turned off the car and stepped out. I had no choice but to follow his lead, scurrying to catch up with him as he walked off in a fury towards the closest park bench. I couldn't help but feel irritated by his reaction. He had no place judging me for my choices. He couldn't possibly comprehend the stress of the expectations on my shoulders. If I wanted to take the path of least resistance, that was my choice to make...

Sitting down, his eyes met mine with a softness in them that didn't match his earlier tone. "I apologize for getting worked up," he began. "I care because I care about you. I don't want to see you hurt, even when you won't admit that this is painful for you."

"You're so confusing," I spoke in a near whisper. "One moment you're comforting me, the next you're ignoring me, and the next you're back to comforting me again."

"I-I am just trying to deal with things," he stuttered, averting his gaze.

"I'm not good at riddles, Jungkook," I sighed. My patience was growing thin. I'd shared so much with this man, more than I'd shared with anyone in such a short time, yet he didn't feel like he could do the same in my presence. What was he hiding from me? What was so difficult to come to terms with that he couldn't vocalize it?

"Just don't marry him, Y/N, please." There was pain in his voice. Something that warned me not to push the issue further, not tonight, anyways.

Seeing his torment, my hand lifted instinctively, cupping the side of his face. "I won't."